Quotes from WC Fields

i like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which i also keep handy.

I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.

A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her.

I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one.

Women are like Elephants. I like to watch them, but I wouldn't want to own one.

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.