Quotes from Dav Pilkey

two wrongs dont make a right

George and Harold were usually responsible kids. Whenever anything bad happened, George and Harold were usually responsible.

Have you read your UNDERPANTS today?

What happened at the end of our last story is something called misdirection. It's what happens when you are led to believe that something is true, but in reality it's not true at all. Misdirection happens a lot in real life- especially in politics, history, education, medicine, marketing, science, religion, and the Oprah Winfrey Network.

You may have even commented on the surprising inappropriateness of such a murderous and bloody scene appearing in a children's book. It's fun to feel offended, isn't it?

It's YOUR story, kid. You can color it any way you want.

tra-la-la!-captain underpants

It's not enough to just be good. We gotta do good! Even if things get scary!

Officer knight is tough but not smart! And greg the dog is smart but his body is his weakness! Well what if they work together? Oh that might be a problem!

That's easy for you to say! You're just a kid. You don't know what a rotten, horrible place this world can be. It can be so cold...so cruel...so unforgiving..." "Papa...That's why we need to be good.

Twas the night before Thanksgiving, And the stars up above Shone down on a school bus Abounding with love. The very next evening, Eight families were blessed With eight fluffy Thanksgiving turkeys As guests. They feasted on veggies With jelly and toast, And everyone was thankful (The turkeys were most!). So each one gave thanks For love and for living, And they all had a wonderful Happy Thanksgiving.

Only one thing can help us now," said George. "What?" asked Harold. "Rubber doggy doo-doo," said George.

Ice women diary: A witches tin key.

we're better when we work together

Welcome to my world, Melvin! Girls have to work harder than boys... and we still get less!!! Less respect... less money... less freedom... less opportunities... and dopes like you never even notice!!!

Sometimes the smallest things can often make the biggest difference.

We have love, and that's all we need, right Papa?

A book without potty humor is like a banana split without hot fudge. It can still be good, I suppose, but you kinda get the feeling that something is missing.

Nothing prevents boredom like a good book.

Try to remember that being unsuccessful in school doesn't automatically mean you'll be unsuccessful in life. Lots of people who didn't excel in school still went on to have successful lives.

My books are just pure escapism for kids.

Grown-ups do a lot of complaining!

Once I have the story in my head, I write it down. The illustrations usually come last.

My freshman English professor at Kent State University in 1984 told me I was a good writer, and she loved all the silly pictures I drew in my notebook. She said I should try writing children's books, and so I did.