Quotes from Dave Berry

Cake!" said Tubby Ted, "I'd give hundred pounds for a piece of cake!" "The only hundred pounds you HAVE are around your waist!" said Prentiss.

New York Taxi Rules: 1. Driver speaks no English. 2. Driver just got here two days ago from someplace like Segal. 3. Driver hates you.

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base.

What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth ? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad.