Quotes from Dave Weasel

The thinner the eyebrow, the crazier the woman.

Cocaine jokes should just be one liners.

The difference between "romantic" and "creepy" is the other person's reaction to it.

"Don't Kid Yourself" would be the greatest brand name for birth control pills.

If you're using a dollar store pregnancy test, you're probably pregnant.

Some of the prettiest girls need to put a paper bag over their personality.