Quotes from Douglas Adams

But now he felt as if the whole world were tipping backwards over his head, and this, he couldn't help feeling, was a very worrying thing for the world to do.

The whole Poghril tribe had died out from famine except for one last man who died of cholesterol poisoning some weeks later.

The courtroom was an austere place, a large dark chamber clearly designed for Justice rather than, for instance, for Pleasure. You wouldn't hold a dinner party there – at least, not a successful one.

Did you ever go to a place . . . I think it was called Norway?" "No," said Arthur, "no, I didn't." "Pity," said Slartibartfast, "that was one of mine. Won an award, you know. Lovely crinkly edges. I was most upset to hear of its destruction.

Well, you look well on it.' `I feel well. You look well.' `I'm well. I'm very well.' `Well, that's good.' `Yes.' `Good.' `Good.' `Nice of you to drop in.' `Thanks.' `Well,' said Arthur, casting around himself. Astounding how hard it was to think of anything to say to someone after all this time.

The insurance companies involved had all claimed that this was, by any reasonable standards, an act of God. But, Dirk had argued, which god? Britain was constitutionally a Christian monotheistic state, and therefore any "act of God" defined in a legal document must refer to the Anglican chap in the stained glass and not to some polytheistic thug from Norway.

We live in strange times. We also live in strange places: each in a universe of our own.

And as they drifter up their minds sang with the ecstatic knowledge that either what they were doing was completely and utterly and totally impossible or that physics had a lot of catching up to do. Physics shook its head and, looking the other way, concentrated on keeping the cards going along the Euston Road and out over towards the Westway flyover, on keeping the street lights lit and on making sure that when somebody on Baker Street dropped a cheeseburger it went splat on the ground.

Dirk looked at her expressionlessly. Apart from being extremely good-looking in a blondish, willowyish kind of way, she was dressed well in an "I don't care what I wear, just any old thing that's lying around" kind of way that relies on extremely careful about what you leave lying around.

Apart from being extremely good-looking in a blondish, willowyish kind of way, she was dressed well in an "I don't care what I wear, just any old thing that's lying around" kind of way that relies on being extremely careful about what you leave lying around.

Trillian did a little research in the ship's copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. It had some advice to offer on drunkenness. Go to it, it said, and good luck.

Everybody has their moment of great opportunity in life. If you happen to miss the one you care about, then everything else in life becomes eerily easy.

Anything that happens, happens.

She was a rapidly rising anchor. She had what it took: great hair, a profound understanding of strategic lip gloss, the intelligence to understand the world and a tiny secret interior deadness which meant she didn't care.

Five to one against and falling …" she said, "four to one against and falling … three to one … two … one … probability factor of one to one … we have normality, I repeat we have normality." She turned her microphone off—then turned it back on— with a slight smile and continued: "Anything you still can't cope with is therefore your own problem. Please relax. You will be sent for soon.

The argument goes something like this: I refuse to prove that I exist, says God, for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing. But, says Man, the Babel fish is a dead giveaway isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED Oh dear, says God, I hadn't thought of that, and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.

That sounds perfectly reasonable …" he said in a reassuring tone of voice, wondering who he was trying to reassure.

But though there are frequent misunderstandings between the Europeans and the Americans, at least we've had decades of shared movies and TV to help us get used to each other. Outside those bounds you can't make any assumptions at all. In China, for instance, the poet James Fenton was once stopped for having a light on his bicycle. "How would it be," the police officer asked him severely, "if everybody did that?

scientist must also be absolutely like a child. If he sees a thing, he must say that he sees it, whether it was what he thought he was going to see or not. See first, think later, then test. But always see first. Otherwise you will only see what you were expecting.

When Arthur had been a boy at school, long before the Earth had been demolished, he had used to play football. He had not been at all good at it, and his particular speciality had been scoring own goals in important matches.

I will understand perfectly if you don't want to answer, but I will just keep pestering you until you do.

Because there are some things you have to do even if you are an enlightened liberal cop who knows all about sensitivity and everything!

Oh, and Zaphod? Er, yeah? If you ever find you need help again, you know, if you're in trouble, need a hand out of a tight corner... Yeah? Please don't hesitate to get lost.

Wainwright's Fruit Emporium. Mr Wainwright is not able to take calls at this time since he is not right in the head and thinks he is a cucumber. Thank you for calling.