Quotes from Douglas Adams

After a few months of observation he had come up with a second theory, which was this - 'If human beings don't keep exercising their lips, their brains start working.

And that's why the American habit of bringing a teacup, a tea bag, and a pot of hot water to the table is merely the perfect way of making a thin, pale, watery cup of tea that nobody in their right mind would want to drink.

He felt a tug of sadness that someone who had seemed so shiningly alive within the small confines of a university community should have seemed to fade so much in the light of common day.

Fe is, I could bang on about the desert and the altitude and the light and the silver and turquoise jewelry, but the best thing is just to mention a traffic sign on the freeway from Albuquerque. It says, in large letters, GUSTY WINDS, and in smaller letters MAY EXIST.

To summarize the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

She was of course the last person to judge somebody by the color of their skin - or if not absolutely the last, she had at least done it as recently as yesterday afternoon /.../

just wading into Africa and telling the local people that they mustn't do to their wildlife what we've done to ours, and that we are there to make sure they don't, is an attitude that, to say the least, needs a little refining.

he had a tremendous propensity for getting lost when driving. This was largely because of his method of 'Zen' navigation, which was simply to find any car that looked as if it knew where it was going and follow it.

computer chattered to itself in alarm as it noticed an airlock open and close itself for no apparent reason. This was because reason was in fact out to lunch.

Science has achieved some wonderful things, of course, but I'd far rather be happy than right any day.' 'And are you?' 'No. That's where it all falls down, of course.' 'Pity,' said Arthur with sympathy. 'It sounded like quite a good lifestyle otherwise.

She had heard it said that humans are supposed only to use about a tenth of their brains, and that no one was very clear what the other nine tenths were for, but she had certainly never heard it suggested that they were used for storing penguins.

Arthur sat at the bar and rested. He was used to not knowing what was going on. He felt comfortable with it.

If I ever meet myself," said Zaphod, "I'll hit myself so hard I won't know what's hit me.

Science has achieved some wonderful things, of course, but I'd far rather be happy than right any day.

He was not conspicuously tall, his features were striking but not conspicuously handsome.

Acontecimientos importantes de la Historia de la Galaxia, II: Desde los orígenes de esta Galaxia, grandes civilizaciones han surgido y desaparecido y muerto tan a menudo que resulta profundamente tentador pensar que la vida en ella debe ser a) algo así como un mareo, un vértigo en el espacio, en el tiempo, en la historia o cosa parecida, y b) estúpida.

Well, that was another thing that hadn't changed. Some people pick their noses, others habitually beat up old ladies on the streets.

Slartibartfast's study was a total mess, like the results of an explosion in a public library.

My God, they are! They're knocking my house down. What the hell am I doing in the pub, Ford?" "It hardly makes any difference at this stage," said Ford, "let them have their fun.

You barbarians!" he yelled. "I'll sue the council for every penny it's got! I'll have you hung, drawn and quartered! And whipped! And boiled … until … until … until you've had enough." Ford was running after him very fast. Very very fast. "And then I will do it again!" yelled Arthur. "And when I've finished I will take all the little bits, and I will jump on them!

maladjusted, socially isolated, sad, hunched, emotional cripple.

The barman reeled for a moment, hit by a shocking, incomprehensible sense of distance. He didn't know what it meant, but he looked at Ford Prefect with a new sense of respect, almost awe.

Look, don't you understand? shouted Arthur. He pointed at Prosser. That man wants to knock my house down! Ford glanced at him, puzzled. Well he can do it while you're away, can't he? he asked. But I don't want him to! Ah.

It seems odd, don't you think, that the quality of the food should vary inversely with the brightness of the lighting. Makes you wonder what culinary heights the kitchen staff could rise to if you confined them to perpetual darkness.