Quotes from Douglas Adams

He knew where his towel was.

The stories had claimed that people in the area had been "terrorized" by some repulsively deformed "goblinlike" creature who regularly broke out of the Woodshead and committed an impressively wide range of unspeakable acts.

These creatures you call mice, you see, they are not quite as they appear. They are merely the protrusion into our dimension of vastly hyperintelligent pandimensional beings. The whole business with the cheese and the squeaking is just a front." The old man paused, and with a sympathetic frown continued. "They've been experimenting on you, I'm afraid.

I agree," he said. "You have a horse in your bathroom, and I will, after all, have a little port.

The man, he believed with an instant effortlessness which would have impressed even a Scientologist, must be a God of some kind to arouse such fervour.

Infinity itself looks flat and uninteresting. Looking up into the night sky is looking into infinity—distance is incomprehensible and therefore meaningless. The

it is very easy to be blinded to the essential uselessness of them by the sense of achievement you get from getting them to work at all.

Five wild Event Maelstroms swirled in vicious storms of unreason and spewed up a pavement.

BOTOLPHS (pl.n) Huge benign tumours which archdeacons and old chemistry teachers affect to wear on the sides of their noses.

They were aware that this day they would represent their entire race in its greatest moment, but they conducted themselves calmly and quietly as they seated themselves deferentially before the desk

Come,' called the old man, 'come now or you will be late.' 'Late?' said Arthur. 'What for?' 'What is your name, human?' 'Dent. Arthur Dent,' said Arthur. 'Late, as in the late Dentarthurdent,' said the old man, sternly. 'It's a sort of threat you see.

He put some more cold pizza into his face.

My name?' said the old man, and the same distant sadness came into his face again. He paused. 'My name,' he said, '. . . is Slartibartfast.' Arthur practically choked. 'I beg your pardon?' he spluttered. 'Slartibartfast,' repeated the old man quietly. 'Slartibartfast?' The old man looked at him gravely. 'I said it wasn't important,' he said.

What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still know where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with

In many of the more relaxed civilizations on the Outer Eastern Rim of the Galaxy, the Hitchhiker's Guide has already supplanted the great Encyclopedia Galactica as the standard repository of all knowledge and wisdom, for though it has many omissions and contains much that is apocryphal, or at least wildly inaccurate

Then who is it?" said Arthur. "Well," said Ford, "if we're lucky it's just the Vogons come to throw us in to space." "And if we're unlucky?" "If we're unlucky," said Ford grimly, "the captain might be serious in his threat that he's going to read us some of his poetry first….

Out," he said. People who can supply that amount of firepower don't need to supply verbs as well.

He lay, panting heavily in the wet air, and tried feeling bits of himself to see where he might be hurt. Wherever he touched himself, he encountered a pain. After a short while he worked out that this was because it was his hand that was hurting.

they had been brought together not of their own volition or by simple coincidence, but by some curious perversion of physics – as if relationships between people were susceptible to the same laws that governed the relationships between atoms and molecules.

Don't pick it up, pick it up, pick i— "Don't pick it up, pick it up, pick i— "Don't pick it up, pick it up, pick i—

It said: "The History of every major Galactic Civilization tends to pass through three distinct and recognizable phases, those of Survival,Inquiry and Sophistication, otherwise known as the How, Why and Where phases. "For instance, the first phase is characterized by the question How can we eat? the second by the question Why do we eat? and the third by the question Where shall we have lunch?

We're safe," he said. "Oh good," said Arthur. "We're in a small galley cabin," said Ford, "in one of the spaceships of the Vogon Constructor Fleet." "Ah," said Arthur, "this is obviously some strange usage of the word safe that I wasn't previously aware of.

None of these facts, however strange or inexplicable, is as strange or inexplicable as the rules of the game of Brockian Ultra Cricket, as played in the higher dimensions. A full set of rules is so massively complicated that the only time they were all bound together in a single volume they underwent gravitational collapse and became a Black Hole.

The argument goes something like this: 'I refuse to prove that I exist,' says God, 'for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing.' 'But,' says Man, 'The Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED.' 'Oh dear,' says God, 'I hadn't thought of that,' and promptly vanished in a puff of logic.