Quotes from Douglas Adams

I've been ordered to take you down to the bridge.

People who talk to themselves on the phone," said Ford, "never learn anything to their advantage.

Arthur looked up. 'Ford,' he said, 'there's an infinite number of monkeys outside who want to talk to us about this script for Hamlet they've worked out.

So long as you can keep disagreeing with each other violently enough and slagging each other off in the popular press, and so long as you have clever agents, you can keep yourselves on the gravy train for life. How does that sound?

This planet has – or had – a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper which were unhappy.

Ford kicked at the door. It opened. "Mixture of pleasure and pain," he muttered. "Always does the trick.

No government owns it," snapped the robot, "it's been stolen.

Oh God, I'm so depressed. Here's another of those self-satisfied doors. Life! Don't talk to me about life.

if relationships between people were susceptible to the same laws that governed the relationships between atoms and molecules.

More than you can possibly imagine, dreaded Marvin. My capacity for mental activity of all kinds is as boundless as the infinite reaches of space itself. Except of course for my capacity for happiness. Stomp, stomp, he went. My capacity for happiness, he added, you could fit into a matchbox without taking out the matches first.

A wedding is a ritual which exists in most societies, only at varying levels of involvement, from a simple agreement to meet, say, once a year for dinner, to the mutual exchanging of left limbs.

Marvin, dedi Trillian, yaln?zca bu can s?k?c? varl?kla konuÅŸurken kulland??? yumuÅŸak ve nazik ses tonuyla, madem bu kadar zamand?r biliyordun, bize neden söylemedin? Marvin ba??n? arkaya, ona doÄŸru çevirdi. Sormad?n?z ki? dedi basitçe.

We've arrived at another of those doors." There was a sliding door let

Space,' it says, 'is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly hugely mindbogglingly big it is. I mean you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist, but that's just peanuts to space.

Numbers written on restaurant bills within the confines of restaurants do not follow the same mathematical laws as numbers written on any other pieces of paper in any other parts of the Universe. This single fact took the scientific world by storm. It completely revolutionized it. So many mathematical conferences got held in such good restaurants that many of the finest minds of a generation died of obesity and heart failure and the science of maths was put back by years.

Trillian punched up the figures. They showed two-to-the-power-of-Infinity-minus-one to one against (an irrational number that only has a conventional meaning in Improbability Physics).

The merry smiles he used to wear at other people's funerals began to fade.

The human race is currently sitting round a rock on the other side of this hill making documentaries about themselves.

like a hunter stalking his prey.

I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young. Why, what did she tell you? I don't know, I didn't listen.

been brought together not of their own volition or by simple coincidence, but by some curious perversion of physics—as if relationships between people were susceptible to the same laws that governed the relationships between atoms and molecules

The Zaphod Beeblebrox?" "No, just a Zaphod Beeblebrox; didn't you hear I come in six packs?

Mr L. Prosser was, as they say, only human. In other words he was a carbon-based bipedal life form descended from an ape.

Hi there! This is Eddie, your shipboard computer, and I'm feeling just great, guys, and I know I'm just going to get a bundle of kicks out of any program you care to run through me.