Quotes from Alan Ayckbourn

The only thing for old age is a brave face, a good tailor and comfortable shoes.

As a writer one is allowed to have conversations with oneself. What is considered sane in writers is made for the rest of the human race.

The darker the subject, the more light you must try to shed on the matter.

My mother used to say, Delia if sex ever rears its ugly head, close your eyes before you see the rest of it.

In the end, you can always convince yourself that a version of the truth is the truth itself.

There are very few people on top of life, and the rest of us don't like them very much.

He really is terribly heavy going. Like running up hill in roller skates.

If you are flattering a woman, it pays to be a little more subtle. You don't have to bother with men, they believe any compliment automatically.

Few women care to be laughed at and men not at all, except for large sums of money.

Cats names are more for human benefit. They give one a certain degree more confidence that the animal belongs to you.