Quotes from Alan Carr

'Civilians' is a term I love. It's what Elizabeth Hurley used to describe people who weren't on TV.

I didn't want a ghost writer. I've got such a distinctive voice, people would smell a rat, I think.

To get your own chatshow, with your name in the title, my arena tour last year - that was another goal for me - I got my own radio show, again with my name in the title... Apart from rehab, there isn't really much on my to-do list!

There's a reason 'The Price Is Right' is on in every country in the world. It's simple, and people want to know the price of things. Plus we give away brilliant prizes.

I know David Walliams did 'Blankety Blank', and when he did that I was so jealous. I would have loved to have done that. It's sort of my sense of humour.

I've already brought enough shame on the family without halting the family tree.

How can you explain to Americans who Kim Woodburn is? It's just nice, for once in my life, to not be the campest one in the room.

I love that I'm approachable. All kinds of people come up to me.

Girls don't want to hang around boys talking about 'The Golden Girls'. They want a boyfriend who turns up on a motorbike, don't they?

Let's be honest, you're very selfish in your twenties, and in your thirties you are just trying to get a down payment for your flat or enough money to pay your bills.

When things finish, you think, 'It's over' but you realise sometimes, it's just the beginning of something else.

Explaining 'The Price Is Right' is probably going to make it sound like the most moronic show ever. I invite people out of the audience to guess the price of a series of household objects.

It sounds like I work at Hallmark, but every day is a journey and you get better and that's the whole point of life.

With Stand Up To Cancer, every penny goes to Cancer Research UK. You are playing with people's lives. I knew I needed to get as much money as possible.

I'm a little bit naughty, not too rude and a little bit saucy. That's what I love about Chatty Man - I can just be that on my own show.

Doing stand up helps - thinking on your feet definitely comes in handy when it's a live show.

Everyone was a footballer in my family. My grandfather Wilf played for Newcastle and my cousins play. It's in the blood.

Obviously there are a lot of charities out there but with cancer you have to be lucky to have not been affected by it or not know anybody who has had it.

I mean, I see the old interviews with Bette Davis or Joan Crawford, these characters clawed their way up - what stories.

Children? No, no, no. I struggle with a red setter.

I don't want to patronise my audience.

I do my own stunts. You see someone like Graham Norton would have had a stunt double, but no, I give 100 per cent to my viewers.

Suggesting that just because someone who is on the telly has a superior moral viewpoint to someone who say, shelf stacks at Aldi is ridiculous.

At school people laughed at me, not with me.