Quotes from S. J. Perelman

"In France," Marcel said with wintry dignity, "accidents occur in the bedroom, not the kitchen."

I have no truck with lettuce, cabbage, and similar chlorophyll. Any dietitian will tell you that a running foot of apple strudel contains four times the vitamins of a bushel of beans.

To err is human, to forgive supine.

The dubious privilege of a freelance writer is he's given the freedom to starve anywhere.

We old roosters must be cautious. Don't try to outwit your arteries.