Quotes from Oliver Herford

Cat: a pygmy lion who loves mice, hates dogs, and patronizes human beings.

There is always room at the top - after the investigation.

A kiss is a course of procedure cunningly devised, for the mutual stopage of speech at a moment when words are superfluous.

Diplomacy is living in state.

I would like to throw an egg into an electric fan.

Diplomacy: lying in state.

Tact: to lie about others as you would have them lie about you.

If some people got their rights they would complain of being deprived of their wrongs.

Darling: the popular form of address used in speaking to a member of the opposite sex whose name you cannot at the moment remember.

What is my loftiest ambition? I've always wanted to throw an egg at an electric fan.

Gather kittens while you may, Time brings only sorrow; And the kittens of today; Will be old cats tomorrow.

Many are called but few get up.

Modesty: the gentle art of enhancing your charm by pretending not to be aware of it.

Only the young die good.

A man is known by the silence he keeps.

Here's to old Adam's crystal ale, Clear, sparkling, and divine, Fair H2O, long may you flow! We drink your health (in wine).

A rolling stone gathers no moss, but it gains a certain polish.

Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.

A hair on the head is worth two on the brush.

When I go abroad I always sail from Boston because it is such a pleasant place to get away from.

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's. She changes it more often.

The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scots as a joke, but the Scots haven't got the joke yet.

Modesty is the gentle art of enhancing your charm by pretending not to be aware of it.

A hair in the head is worth two in the brush.