Quotes from Ellie Kemper

I think, regardless of gender, women and men need to be brave, take chances with their work, and be open to feedback. But I do think 'politeness' is an issue that can hinder your work if you aren't careful. Kindness is important, but being overly polite - thinking you can't disagree with someone about your own work - be careful about that.

Yes, some women are funny. No, some women aren't funny. It's similar to how some women are tall and, you know, some women are short.

A man's face is not a rich person's lawn; you are wasting resources if you devote that much energy to trimming your beard, sideburns, or mustache just so. Nor is a man's face the woods; there need not be the tangled weeds, shrubbery, and wildlife/eggs benedict that get ensnared in them.

I'm a morning bird. I love getting up before it's light out if it's possible. I wake up, I have a black coffee. I'm an 86-year-old man. I try to work out first thing to get it over with. When I do it, I feel good because I have the endorphins all day.

If you're going to plan a wedding, then a certain amount of suffering is not a choice.

Growing up, I had one very specific idea of what a wedding should be, and that was the wedding of Fraulein Maria and Captain von Trapp in 'The Sound of Music.'

Most New Yorkers want to look amazing, and they want you to understand that they look amazing, but they also want you to stop staring at them.

I want to be a morning-talk-show host. I love Kelly Ripa's job. She gets to live in New York and has this amazing job hosting a talk show.

My painting teacher in high school used to say, 'I can't paint like I want to, but through practice I'll get better.' But I don't think that's true. I think sometimes you just can't paint.

A lot of people ask, 'What's the best advice Tina Fey's given you?' But she doesn't, like, go about doling out advice - like, 'I've got another tip for you!'

If you're tired, you shouldn't make yourself exercise. Take a nap instead. It's about getting an appropriate amount of work and rest. I get very crabby if I'm not well-rested.

When I laugh hard, sometimes I wet my pants, but I'm always relieved because that means I'm having a good time.

When you start feeling the baby kick, you realize there's a person inside, and that pregnancy is very different from having a person you're responsible for for the rest of your life. I don't know what I'm doing, but then I have to remind myself no parent does, right?

I love coffee, but I have to make sure I don't have more than one cup a day because I'm already a little hyper.

I can't do impressions.

In the back of my head, I always thought it would be great to become an actress on a sitcom.

I wrote comedy sketches in college.

Men, who certainly possess not only the savvy but also the know-how to be funny, for some reason, are just not. I began to notice this at a pretty young age, and unfortunately, a lifetime of living - and not a little bit of regret - hasn't done much to convince me otherwise.

I want to be a morning-talk-show host. I love Kelly Ripa's job. She gets to live in New York and has this amazing job hosting a talk show.

For a few months, I'd have a green juice every day, but one day, I realized I'd rather eat those ingredients than drink them.

Most New Yorkers want to look amazing, and they want you to understand that they look amazing, but they also want you to stop staring at them.

I like healthful foods, but I'm from the Midwest, so I like food that's been around longer.

If I don't do some sort of exercise in a day, I do get in a terrible mood. That's always been true.

I love, love, love, love, love, love Naeem Khan. Every dress he makes looks like it belongs in a museum. You put it on, and you feel like royalty.