Quotes from Kevin James

Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.

There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap.

Pie...it fills the cracks of the heart. Go away, pain.

Teachers have a chance to mold someone, inspire them. I hope all teachers realize that.

Just me onstage with a mike having an intimate relationship with the audience. I don't get nervous for that. I just get excited.

I had many teachers that were great, positive role models and taught me to be a good person and stand up and be a good man. A lot of the principals they taught me still affect how I act sometimes and it's 30 years later.

It's always cool to meet people who can do things that you have no capacity to do.

For some reason and I don't know why, but I don't think that I'm funny in California. So I always want to do my movies east somewhere.

I had my boy in Boston on Easter Sunday. That kills me, from a sports perspective. He's a Boston baby and I'm a New York guy.

I just want to put some positive stuff out there. If it works, great. If it doesn't, no problem.

As American as an apple is and as American as baseball is, they don't go together. You can't be chewing an apple at a baseball game. You've got to let go of the diet that day.

I want to do movies that I'm proud of where my kids, at some point, can see and I can feel comfortable sitting there watching it with them. And just that move people. That make people feel a little bit better about themselves when they leave the theatre.

How big are muffins going to get before we all join hands across America? Have you seen them? They're huge. "Yeah, I'll take a coffee and... Oh, my God! Yeah, I'll have the beanbag chair with raisins.

You know, when you're a fat guy you don't need a reason to sweat. Guys come up to me and go "Jeez... what have you been doing - jumping rope in the attic or something?"..."Umm, no... I peeled an orange about an hour ago, why?

In some ways you are the definition of love. A look, a touch and the way you make me feel. You give me strength to face the elements (whatever they may be) because I don't face them alone. It feels like you are here with me, even when you are physically far away. You give me the courage to be open, to tell you scary stuff, and you accept me. Time with you seems timeless. I love you

I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a Great White or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

I've always been the guy who doesn't necessarily get it with women. A woman would have to say, 'I like you, I want to go out with you, you can ask me.' And still I would question it. Did she mean it?

I've always had something in my heart where I root for guys who struggle with women.

If I do a movie where I have to have a son and it's a chubby kid, my mother is always like, 'You were never like that.' She gets so upset about it.

Just me onstage with a mike having an intimate relationship with the audience. I don't get nervous for that. I just get excited.

There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap.

Every few months I'll pop into a comedy club or go to Vegas.

I never played music, but it's an important thing ... the studying, the inspiration.

Back in '93 I saw my first UFC fight and just became enamored by it then.