Quotes from Hal Sparks

Anyone who still supports George Bush would still let Michael Jackson babysit their kids.

People think that the arts are optional and they aren't. They teach a level of emotional depth that's equally important to mathematic skill. You can replace some math skills with a calculator if you know how to operate the thing, but there's no calculator for human interaction.

If you take anything I say with any seriousness whatsoever, go study Yang style tai chi. It will make you live longer.

If I could sew comedy and philosophy together, then I've done a good job. The primary goal is always going to be laughs and the secondary goal is always going to be saying something without it being a lecture.

I'm a writer, so I like dissecting things.

Tori Amos had a major influence on how I craft words in a song. Until I heard 'Little Earthquakes' all my lyrics used really obvious analogies like rain for tears.

The name 'Charmageddon' actually comes from a social technique that I use. Which is, you know, literally obliterating people with charm so that you can get away with saying stuff that no one else could ever get away with, you know?

If I have anything, it's tenacity.

'Cold Case Files' and similar shows do bang up business, which points to a certain thirst for details in the viewership, but it seems like all the news chat shows continue to force the myth that Americans can't stand detail and have no interest in an idea that can't fit on a bumper sticker.

If 'Airplane!' comes on, it's like a comfort film. You can always guarantee a laugh watching that movie.

Sometimes I play guitar like a frustrated drummer.

Most 'reality' shows aren't reality at all. They're game shows with no prize. Like 'Rock of Love.' His aren't genuine feelings. Then again, Bob Barker didn't really care whether or not you won the toaster. Sorry to shatter everyone's dreams.

There is never hesitation about doing stand-up. It's just me doing my thing.

It's better to waste money than time. You can always get more money.

You would not believe how much time people waste in a day. And how little time they put into things they genuinely love.

The important thing is having genuine regard for your audience.

I'm as heterosexual as any person need be. I'm open about my relationships - or lack thereof - in my own life, because I want to make the case that gay isn't contagious. It's not something that you can catch or learn or choose.

The Bush administration made us nostalgic for ... well, any other time in history.

It's better to waste money, than it is to waste time. You can always get more money.

I try to be as ignorant about things as I can.

I've always said that I benefit, as an actor, from not having the illusion of security.

Tori Amos had a major influence on how I craft words in a song.

Truth be told, ginormous portions have become a pet peeve of mine.

Growing up in Kentucky, I used to hang out with four running buddies as a kid - 6, 10, and 11 years old. Two of them would later come out, and so 50 percent of my friends as a kid were gay.