Quotes from Ilona Andrews

Not only will you sleep with me, but you will say 'please.'" I stared at him, shocked. The smile widened. "You will say 'please' before and 'thank you' after." Nervous laughter bubbled up. "You've gone insane. All that peroxide in your hair finally did your brain in, Goldilocks.

Here, Kitty, Kitty, Kitty...

As he passed me, he leaned to Curran and handed him a paper fan folded from some sort of flyer. Curran looked at the fan. "What?" "An emergency precaution, Your Majesty. In case the lady faints." Curran just stared at him. Raphael strode toward the Pit, turned, flexed a bit, and winked at me. "Give me that," I told Curran. "I need to fan myself." "No, you don't.

I don't want it to be attributed to a loss of control on my part. When I throw you out of the window, I want there to be no doubt the act was deliberate.

I can't give you the white picket fence, and if I did, you'd set it on fire.

It's a reflex. Hear a bell, get food. See an undead, throw a knife. Same thing, really.

Every time I think you've reached the limits of arrogance, you show me new heights. Truly, your egotism is like the Universe—ever expanding.

You don't cause problems. You cause catastrophes.

Andrea raised her hand. "This is the hand that slapped Aunt B." "Maybe you should have it gold-plated." "Here, you can touch it, since you're my best friend.

The phone rang. I picked it up. "Are you sitting down?" Curran's voice asked. "Yes." "Good." Click. I listened to the disconnect signal. If he wanted me to sit, then I'd stand. I got up. The chair got up with me and I ended up bent over my desk, with the chair stuck to my butt. I grabbed the edge of the chair and tried to pull it off. It remained stuck. I would murder him. Slowly. And I'd enjoy every second of it.

She crouched with her hand out. What the hell was she doing… "Here, kitty, kitty, kitty." Oh my God, she was retarded and I was going to kill Jim.

How much are you lifting?" "Seven hundred." Alrighty then. I will just stand over here, out of your way, and hope you don't remember to kick my ass. He grinned. "Wanna spot me?" "No thanks. How about I just scream verbal encouragements at you?" I took a deep breath and barked, "No pain, no gain! That pain is just weakness leaving your body! Come on! Push! Push! Make that weight your bitch!

I gave him a smile. I was aiming for sweet, but he turned a shade paler and scooted a bit farther from me. Note to self: work more on sweet and less on psycho-killer.

I'm a substitute mom." "You're more like a crazy aunt who only gets called when somebody needs bailing out of jail.

If you come, you better come in force because I will kill every single one of you. My hand won't shake, my aim won't falter. My face will be the last thing you'll see before you die." I jammed my knife into the table and walked out.

Did he just rip out the engine?" I asked. "Yes", Saiman said. "And now he is demolishing the Maserati with it." Ten seconds later Curran hurled the twisted wreck of black and orange that used to be the Maserati into the wall. The first melodic notes of an old song came from the computer. I glanced at Saiman. He shrugged. "It begged for a soundtrack.

Why a raven?" "To honor my father." "The writing under it, is that Cyrillic?" "Yes." "What does it say?" "Dar Vorona. Gift of the Raven. I am my father's gift." "The raven is holding a bloody sword." "I never said it was a nice gift.

Kate short-circuits my brain. In my head we always have these clear coherent exchanges, but once we meet, what comes out it is, "Kate, do what I say or I'll kill you." Her default reply is, "Fuck you!" and we go downhill from there.

It's your duty as my best friend to be outraged with me." "I'm outraged!" I snarled. "That bastard!" "Thank you," Andrea said.

Yes I can," Curran snarled. "Listen: this is me telling you what you will not do." I raised the cookbook and tapped him on the nose. Bad cat.

You slept with Curran and you didn't tell me? I'm your best friend." "It didn't come up." "How disappointing for you." Ha-ha. "That's not what I meant.

Just wait until he figures out I shut him out of his slut hut.

I turned to leave and paused before the gap in the ruined wall. "One last thing, Your Majesty. I'd like a name I can put into my report, something shorter than typing out 'The Leader of the Southern Shapechanger Faction.' What should I call you?" "Lord." I rolled my eyes. He shrugged. "It's short.

Living in your dreams meant bitter disappointment when you woke up.