Quotes from Jacob Braude

The surest way to get a job done is to give it to a busy man. He'll have his secretary do it.

If a thing goes without saying -- let it.

There's another advantage in being poor. The doctor will cure you faster.

Only uncomfortable chairs become antiques - the comfortable ones are worn out by hard use.

Thanksgiving, to be truly Thanksgiving, is first thanks, then giving.

By the time a man can afford to lose a golf ball, he can't hit that far.

Most of these love triangles are wrecktangles.

Marriage is like a violin. After the beautiful music is over, the strings are still attached.

Diets are for people who are thick and tired of it.

Father reading report card: One thing in your favor - with these grades, you couldn't possibly be cheating.

speaker: I have only ten minutes and hardly know where to begin. voice in back: Begin at the ninth.

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a male is when he's a baby.

All work and no plagiarism makes a dull speech.

Always behave like a duck – keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil underneath.

You know you're getting older when you don't care where your wife goes just so you don't have to go along.

The fence that makes good neighbors need to get to make good friends

There's no fool like an old fool --- you can't beat experience.

Always behave like a duck- keep calm and unruffled on the surface, but paddle like the devil underneath.

There's no fool like an old fool --- you can't beat experience.

she: Before we got married you told me you were well-off. he: I was and I didn't know it.