Quotes from John Barrymore

My wife is the kind of girl who will not go anywhere without her mother, and her mother will go anywhere.

The way to fight a woman is with your hat. Grab it and run.

You never realize how short a month is until you have to pay alimony.

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open.

He neither drank, smoked, nor rode a bicycle. Living frugally, saving his money, he died early, surrounded by greedy relatives. It was a great lesson to me.

Happiness sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open.

My head is buried in the sands of tomorrow, while my tail feathers are singed by the hot sun of today.

I am thinking of taking a fifth wife. Why not? Solomon had a thousand wives and he is a synonym for wisdom.

A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.

A man is not old until his regrets take the place of his dreams.

Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.

If it isn't the sheriff, it's the finance company; I've got more attachments on me than a vacuum cleaner.

America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up in two weeks.

You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.

My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments.

Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

The way to fight a woman is with your hat - grab it and run.

Paper napkins never return from a laundry - nor love from a trip to the law courts