Quotes from Lea DeLaria

It's not that I don't like penises. I just don't like them on men.

It's a cosmic joke that I'm a lesbian, because I understand men so well but women are a complete mystery to me.

No one has the responsibility to be out to anyone but himself or herself. I made my choice a million years ago.

Straight girls like me. They flirt with me to get whatever they want. Of course it works.

As a standup, I try to change the world. As an entertainer, I try to entertain. And as a lesbian, I try to pick up the prettiest girl in the room.

What do you mean you don't believe in homosexuality? It's not like the Easter Bunny, your belief isn't necessary.

It's really not enough to just have black women. A really good idea could be to comment on how they are treated by society.

What do you mean you don't believe in homosexuality? It's not like the Easter Bunny, your belief isn't necessary.

As a standup, I try to change the world. As an entertainer, I try to entertain. And as a lesbian, I try to pick up the prettiest girl in the room.

What do you mean, you "Don't believe in homosexuality"? It's not like the Easter Bunny, your belief isn't necessary.

A woman will allow herself to be clouded by her emotions. Her reasonable thought becomes completely unreasonable over the most ridiculous thing. It's a girl thing.

I can't discriminate? Oh, that's ripe, coming from a straight white man. What's the matter, baby doesn't feel like he belongs? Well why don't you try a place that was set up just for you? Like the world!