Quotes from Mignon McLaughlin

I'm glad I don't have to explain to a man from Mars why each day I set fire to dozens of little pieces of paper, and then put them in my mouth.

How can a man marry wisely in his twenties? The girl he's going to wind up wanting hasn't even been born.

Few women care what a man looks like, and a good thing too.

The trouble with women is men; the trouble with men, men.

When a man falls in love, he wants to go to bed. When a woman falls in love, she wants to talk about it.

Men who don't like girls with brains don't like girls.

It took man thousands of years to put words down on paper, and his lawyers still wish he wouldn't.

A productive marriage requires falling in enjoy numerous occasions, usually with the identical man or woman.

Philosophy teaches a man that he can't take it with him; taxes teach him he can't leave it behind either.

Ma-ma does everything for the baby, who responds by saying Da-da first.

I wish I'd said it first, and I don't even know who did: The only problems that money can solve are money problems.

A woman's mink coat represents the sacrifice of a lot of little animals, including her husband.

Be glad that you're greedy; the national economy would collapse if you weren't.

Money is much more exciting than anything it buys.

Money: in its absence, we are coarse; in its presence, we are vulgar.

Learning too soon our limitations, we never learn our powers.

One day you are an apprentice, and everybody's pet; the next, you are coldly expected to deliver. There is never sufficient warning that the second day is coming.

We come late, if at all, to wine and philosophy: whiskey and action are easier.

It's the most unhappy people who most fear change.

Most sermons sound to me like commercials - but I can't make out whether God is the Sponsor or the Product.

Whatever we worship, short of God, is sure to be our undoing.

God doesn't measure His bounty, but oh how we do!

Don't look for God where He is needed most; if you didn't bring Him there, He isn't there.

If you have to do it every day, for God's sake learn to do it well.