Quotes from Scott Lynch

But this is silly—we could sit here all night contrasting cock-lengths. I say mine is five feet long, you say yours is six, and shoots fire upon command.

The sunrise sky was creeping over the edge of the city in orange-and-scarlet striations, and the clocks were or were not chiming seven.

I assure you that in all matters of discretion not involving food, we make etiquette tutors look like slobbering barbarians.

Wicked sisters,' said Jean, as he let the hatchets fall out of his right robe sleeve and into his hand, 'I'd like you to meet the Wicked Sisters.

Yes," said Locke."Yes, Master Ibelius. I'm going to put that fucker in the dirt as deeply as any man who's ever been murdered, ever since the world began.

I have a rule of thumb—if you have a puzzle and the answers are elegant and simple, it means someone is trying to fuck you over.

You'd have to take your shoes and breeches off to count to twenty-one!

My, you are in a sad state. You believe you've been poisoned?" "No," said Locke with a cough. "I fell down some fucking stairs. What's it look like?

The sky was a fading red and nothing remained of the day save for a line of molten gold slowly lowering on the western horizon.

No, Mistress of Doubts, I've brought you here to this secluded corner of the city for the nefarious purpose of cooking your dinner myself.

Arms out, falling backward, staring up into the hot near-noon sky with the confident assurance of all twelve of his years that death and injury were things reserved solely for people that weren't Bug.

His view of the sky spun first left then right, as though the world were trying on strange new angles for his approval.

Like celestial bodies, transiting in their orbits, exerting their influences.

What thief does not fight to hold what he has?" "One that has something better" - Locke Lamora to the Gray king

Her eyes [were] like the sudden plunge to blue depths beyond a continental shelf.

You were talking to her before, right?" "Yeah. It was going well. Now it's all strange." "Have you considered extreme, desperate measures like talking to her again?

Bearded peasant goes in one end of an alley, clean-shaven gentleman comes out the other? Really?" "It's a classic!

Privacy on a ship at sea is about as real as fucking fairy piss

well then," said Locke. "Now that we've all realized precisely how tough we'll never be, let's stand on what we have.

Fling arrows at all the strange things you see out here, and all you do is run out of arrows.

give until they were out of sight of Tal Verrar. "Southeast by

ETIENNE DELANCARRE Domingo Salvard," said Sabetha, reading out loud from the lantern-lit plaque beside the building's street entrance. "Master solicitor, bonded law-scribe, authorized notary, executor of wills and estates, Vadran translator and transcriber. Fortunes assured, justice delivered, enemies confounded. Reasonable rates." Locke

They sat in companionable silence for a few moments after that, while the sun settled into its downward arc in the west and long shadows began to creep across the face of the city.

We can rob nobles. We can do second-story work. We can slide down chimneys and slip locks and rob coaches and break vaults and do a fine spread of card tricks," said Locke. "I could cut your balls off, if you had any, and replace them with marbles, and you wouldn't notice for a week. But I hate to tell you that the one class of criminal we really haven't associated with, ever, is fucking pirates!" "We're at a bit of a loss