Quotes from David Deida

You should always listen to your woman, and then make your own decision. If you choose to go with your woman's suggestion even when deep in your heart you feel that another decision is more wise, you are, in effect, saying, "I don't trust my own wisdom." You are weakening yourself by telling yourself this. You are weakening your woman's trust in you: why should she trust your wisdom if you don't?

What you settle for is determined by your fear.

By leaning just beyond your fear, you challenge your limits compassionately, without trying to escape the feeling of fear itself. You step beyond the solid ground of security with an open heart. You stand in the space of unknowingness, raw and awake. Here, the gravity of deep being will attend you to the only place where fear is obsolete: the eternal free fall of home. Where you always are. Own your fear, and lean just beyond it. In every aspect of your life. Starting now.

If you are willing to feel exactly what is and open as you are, then your life unfolds as truth.

When you walk, how can you let go of your old habits of tension and move as an expression of the love you feel you are at depth? At your job, how can you work as the love you truly are? What changes do you need to make in your daily life-rituals so that love can radiate through your every breath, action, and relationship?

Chocolate or a good man can instigate your heart's surrender, but full-bodied pleasure and overflowing love—opening until you are exposed fully to God as love's bliss—is the only way to live true to your deepest desire, with or without a trustable lover or a tasty dessert.

Without love, our lives are empty.

Sexual attraction, however, is very different from having sex. There is a big difference between choosing to be intimate with a woman and simply being attracted to her energy and radiance.

She already knows she can take care of herself just fine. Now, she takes care as love's all. She loves love, and she loves opening as love's bright and powerful grace. Breath by breath, she gives her body to be possessed by love, moved by love, lived by love, fiercely alive and without shame—in every moment taking all into heart, deeply, and opening as love's all, shining as love's every color, dancing as love's every texture, whether or not she is with her lover.

Unadorned suffering is the bedmate of masculine growth. Only by staying intimate with your personal suffering can you feel through it to its source.

If necessary, a man should live with a hurting heart rather than a closed one.

Learn to find humor in the unending emotional drama the feminine seems to enjoy so much.

Disconnected from your core, you feel weak. This empty feeling will undermine not only your "erection" in the world, but your erection with your woman, too.

The core of your life is your purpose

If you know your purpose, your deepest desire, then the secret of success is to discipline your life so that you support your deepest purpose and minimize distractions and detours. But

Your edges melt. Your boundaries dissolve. Your body opens outward, love radiating from your heart as an unkept offering. You cry as your resistance is melted in love's fullness, pleasure forcing your body more open. Your face moist, your thighs wet, your belly heaving, you surrender open, as wide as all. No boundaries. All love, all openness, all fullness.

But if you don't know your deepest desire, then you can't align your life to it. Everything in your life is dissociated from your core. You go to work, but since it's not connected to your deepest purpose, it is just a job, a way to earn money.

And sexual passion requires a clear polarity between your masculine core and your woman's feminine energy. When you don't prioritize the purpose of your relationship, these different energies often cancel each other out, and you are left with a sexually neutralized alliance.

You can share many aspects of intimacy—business, friendship, parenting, and sexual passion—only if you choose a single priority to the relationship and allow all the other activities to align themselves around your main purpose for being together.

And you, you're afraid to let go of your relationship and be lived by the Great One for real. If you want my gut feeling, it's time for you and the Peepster to trust deeper than the form of your relationship. Let go of each other

You are only willing to surrender open if he is fully present you, committed to claiming your heart with his absolute integrity of being. And he is only willing to commit his presence with you if you are willing to surrender open and offer your heart's light and devotion as love's yearning.

How can you tell if your woman's self-direction is healthy for her? If she becomes more and more full and happy as she pursues her direction, then it is good for her. If she becomes more and more stressed, taut, and emotionally angular, then she is animating excess masculine direction.

Remember that self-discipline is not self-suppression. Suppression is when you resist and fight against your desires, keeping them as buried and unexpressed as possible. Self-discipline is when your highest desires rule your lesser desires, not through resistance, but through loving action grounded in understanding and compassion.

When you do your tasks in the right way, they liberate your life energy so that you can attend to what really matters—the investigation, realization, and embodiment of true freedom. Do you even know what this means? Have you devoted yourself to finding out the deepest truth of your own existence? If, in this very moment, your tasks are not supporting your life in this way, you must drop them or change them so that they do. Otherwise, you are wasting your life.