Quotes from Gelett Burgess

Slang is the illegitimate sister of Poetry.

The fear of women is the beginning of knowledge.

If thou makest a statement concerning women, lo, she shall immediately try to disprove it straightway. She goeth by contraries.

The world is full of women, and the women full of wile; so that a man, if he goeth not warily withal, shall surely fall a prey thereunto.

My son, beware of a plain damsel who charmeth thee, for she needeth much wile, and useth diverse weapons.

Son, heed my instruction, and apply thyself to know women; let thine eyes observe her when she is with another, for what she doeth with him, she will do with thee, also.

Beware of a woman who signeth not her name to her letters; she will bear watching, aye, she hath a past.

The Sun is Low, to Say the Least, Although it is Well-Red; Yet, Since it Rises in the Yeast, It Should be Better Bred!

My Feet they haul me Round the House, They Hoist me up the Stairs; I only have to Steer them, and They Ride me Everywhere!

There is work that is work and there is play that is play; there is play that is work and work that is play. And in only one of these lies happiness.

If in the last few years you have not discarded a major opinion or acquired a new one, check your pulse. You may be dead.

Many a maid have I won by a quarrel, when flattery was in no wise helpful; but take heed that thou art in the wrong, so that thou mayest acknowledge thine error.

Repeat not the manner of a flirtation; for lo, all the world shall hear of it, and women will taunt thee.

Old friends, we say, are best, when some sudden disillusionment shakes our faith in a new comrade.

If in the last few years you haven't discarded a major opinion or acquired a new one, check your pulse. You may be dead.