Quotes from George Jean Nathan

I have yet to find a man worth his salt in any direction who did not think of himself first and foremost.

A man admires a woman not for what she says, but what she listens to.

The notion that as a man grows older his illusions leave him is not quite true. What is true is that his early illusions are supplanted by new, and to him, equally convincing illusions.

A man may be said to love most truly that woman in whose company he can feel drowsy in comfort.

An abstainer is the sort of man you wouldn't want to drink with even if he did.

Politics is the diversion of trivial men who, when they succeed at it, become important in the eyes of more trivial men.

No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched.

The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth.

The most loyal and faithful woman indulges her imagination in a hypothetical liaison whenever she dons a new street frock for the first time.

An optimist is a fellow who believes a housefly is looking for a way to get out.

Beauty makes idiots sad and wise men merry.

So long as there is one pretty girl left on the stage, the professional undertakers may hold up their burial of the theater.

An actor without a playwright is like a hole without a doughnut.

What passes for woman's intuition is often nothing more than man's transparency.

It is also said of me that I now and then contradict myself. Yes, I improve wonderfully as time goes on.

Patriotism is often an arbitrary veneration of real estate above principles.

The path of sound credence is through the thick forest of skepticism.

The dramatic critic who is without prejudice is on the plane with the general who does not believe in taking human life.

Common sense, in so far as it exists, is all for the bourgeoisie. Nonsense is the privilege of the aristocracy. The worries of the world are for the common people.

A broken heart is a monument to a love that will never die; fulfillment is a monument to a love that is already on its deathbed.

Opening night is the night before the play is ready to open.

I drink to make other people interesting.

There is something distinguished about even his failures; they sink not trivially, but with a certain air of majesty, like a great ship, its flags flying, full of holes.

Common sense, in so far as it exists, is all for the bourgeoisie. Nonsense is the privilege of the aristocracy. The worries of the world are for the common people.