Quotes from Jeph Jacques

The quickest way to a man's heart really is through his stomach, because then you don't have to chop through that pesky rib cage.

You can either hold yourself up to the unrealistic standards of others, or ignore them and concentrate on being happy with yourself as you are.

There are two ways to pass a hurdle: leaping over or plowing through... There needs to be a monster truck option.

A good relationship is like fireworks: loud, explosive, and liable to maim you if you hold on too long.

Spontaneous kindness is to hipsters as high beams are to deer.

Your whole life people tell you to do what you love. But if you gotta do something else to pay the bills, you don't automatically have to be miserable.

'Light fuse and get away' may work for a Roman candle, but not so much for the wrath of a woman scorned.

Bachelor's degrees make pretty good placemats if you get 'em laminated.