Quotes from Gemma Halliday

Men. One minute they have their tongues down your throat and the next they're forbidding you from meeting your own father and criticizing your fashion choices.

All men should be required to have their marital status tattooed on their foreheads.

Earthquakes just happen. Tornadoes just happen. Your tongue does not just happen to fall into some other girls mouth!

I'll go," he said. "And that's safer because?" "I'm a guy." "Right, and having a pair of dingle balls makes you invincible how?

That craptastical, gutless, son-of-a-cactus-humping butt monkey!!

I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry I lied, I like your Star Wars sheets, you're not that bad of a driver, and I swear on my Very Cherry lip gloss that I will never lie to you again.

Caw! Caw, Hartley, caw!" Chase narrowed his eyes again. "Sam?" I nodded. Then crossed to the window again and called down to Sam. "You can quit squawking. He caught me.

The first thing I did was run. Okay, actually the first thing I did was scream, lose my balance, flail my arms in the air like some kind of uncoordinated bird, then slide down the side of the tree and land on my butt. Then I ran.

Mental face palm. Suddenly I wasn't sure there was enough room on the campus for both me and his ego.

In the immortal words of Mr. Burns.......eeeeexcellent.

She shot me a sugar-coated smile. I matched it calorie for calorie.

I didn't point out that Courtney and I were hardly BFFs. In Mom's world everyone under the age of eighteen was friends with everyone else, like we were all part of some secret society of minors.

We actually wanted to ask you a few questions. About the interview you did this morning." At the mention of her KTVU debut, Caitlyn softened a little. "You saw that?" I nodded. "How did I look on camera?" Her grief was touching.

There are three things you never want to find in your boyfriend's locker: a sweaty jockstrap, a D minus on last week's history test, and an empty condom wrapper. Lucky me, I'd hit the trifecta.

No matter how much I may love—scratch that, loved, past tense—Josh, I was no dummy. Everyone knows the Y chromosome carries with it the instinctive urge to lie under pressure. Which, incidentally, was what Josh was going to be under when I found him. Serious pressure. On his larynx.

She went in the pool," she finished for me. "Ohmigod. She was killed while tweeting. It was Twittercide!

Our bodies are our temples. They should have a little more respect for themselves than that." "You know, I could have sworn I saw you shoveling Cheetos into your temple last week." "Oh, but I'm pretty sure those were nonfat," Kaylee piped up. Oh brother.

Chase leaned in close. "hey" What? Are you wearing perfume? No... why would I be wearing perfume?... You sure you're not wearing anything? It smells like jasmine. Must be the bushes

Bull-fluff. You didn't break up with a girlfriend of a whole year because of stuff .

To say I didn't have great luck in the guy department was like saying Ryan Seacrest didn't have great luck in the height department: total understatement.

The first thing I noticed when I woke up was the hippo squatting on my head.

All men should be required to have their marital status tattooed on their foreheads.

Why is it that when someone says "trust me", I always feel less inclined to do so?

That craptastical, gutless, son-of-a-cactus humping butt monkey" - Hartley Featherston