Quotes from Gideon Defoe

Except Baby Jesus never had a delicious honey-roast glaze, did he? So in many ways my ham was a lot better than Baby Jesus ever was,' pointed out the Pirate Captain.

It's like my old Aunt Joan always used to say: if you're going to end up fighting monsters, Pirate Captain, try to stick to ventriloquist's dummies who have gone alive.

If you knew how many hidden depths I had your pretty eyes would pop right out of your winsome face. Not literally of course - that would be disgusting. I wouldn't envy the man who had to clean up a pair of popped eyes, especially given the state of this deck. I'm not sure we even have any cleaning products that work for popped eyes, although I suppose a general viscera cleaner would do the trick.

With a sound like a bat hitting a watermelon, pirate fist connected with pirate jaw and a gold tooth bounced across the deck.