Quotes from Maureen Johnson

You can never visit the same place twice. Each time, it's a different story. By the very act of coming back, you wipe out what came before.

It's always awkward when someone doesn't realize you're joking and devotes thought time to what you've said. Double that when the person is wearing tinfoil.

When you have enough power and money, you can dictate the meanings of words.

I am a mass of contradictions.

We study there a lot because... what other choice does society give us, right? It's Starbucks or death, sometimes.

Guilt isn't always a rational thing, Clio realized. Guilt is a weight that will crush you whether you deserve it or not.

I like you because you were mad. And you're pretty. And pretty sane for a mad person.

Tell me what you want, what you really, really want, he said. Braiiinnnnssss, we said in unison.

Just then, my phone started ringing. The ring must have been damaged by the water as well, so now it had a high, keening note - kind of the sound I imagine a mermaid might make if you punched her in the face.

It's always awkward when someone doesn't realize you're joking and devotes thought time to what you've said. Double that when the person is wearing tinfoil.

WORTH IT and perfect are different things. No one's perfect, yet in romance, everyone becomes WORTH IT. And that's the trick.

This pool is a triumph of imagination. That's how you win at life, Gin. You have to imagine your way through. Never say something can't be done. There's always a solution, even if it's weird.

Every time you try to flirt with her, a puppy dies.

There is nothing so serious as a game.

What the hell is wrong with you? he asked. It was a good question.

Go see old virgins! Now ask a strange boy out, you shy, Retarded thing!

I can sleep like a champion. I once slept through a smoke alarm going off. For three hours. In my bedroom.

There is no normal. I've never met a normal person. The concept is flawed. It implies that there is only one way people are supposed to be, and that can't possible be true. Human experience is far too varied.

It was like the entire world was colluding to make me feel insane, and it was doing a really good job.

10/30/38 Where do you look for someone who's never really there? Always on a staircase but never on a stair

Don't get stabbed. It makes everything awkward.

Walk really, really carefully. It's not complicated, but if you mess up, you'll die, so pay attention.

And what else is she? Jerome asked. Jazza didn't offer any reply so I chimed in with, A bitchweasel? A bitchweasel! Jazza's face lit up. She's a bitchweasel! I love my new roommate.

It was clearly one of those mornings when I was particularly American.