Quotes from Jim Butcher

I always thought it would get easier to be a person as I aged. But it just gets more and more complicated.

Am I going to be able to provide a real home for her, man? An education? A real life? What's her college application going to look like: 'Raised on Spooky Island by wizard with GED, please help'?

Mab had the kind of power you had to describe using exponents.

I like complaining. It's every soldier's sacred right

This is bigger than me," he said finally. "It's bigger than polka, even. So I guess I'll help.

I leaned closer and gave her the look I usually save for rampaging demons and those survey people at malls.

These creatures have destroyed our lands. Murdered our people. Isana lifted her chin. Pay them for it. When Antillus Raucus looked up, his eyes were hard, cold, and clear. Watch me.

Speed of lightning! Roar of thunder! Fighting all who rob or plunder! Underdog!

If you weren't getting pretty close to crazy right now, would you be talking to yourself right now?

The water near me stirred and then a Sharkface rose up out of it as if on an elevator, slow, his mouth tilted up into a small smile. He stood there on the water perhaps five feet away from me. His eyeless face looked smug. Warden, he said. Asshat, I replied.

You can describe it to them as much as you want. You can write books about what you felt, what you experienced. You can compose poems and songs about what it was like. But until they've seen it for themselves, they can't really know what it is you're talking about. A few people will clearly see the effect it had on you, will understand that much, at least. But they won't know.

There's power in the touch of another person's hand. We acknowledge it in little ways, all the time. There's a reason human beings shake hands, hold hands, slap hands, bump hands.

There are moments in your life that, when you look back at them, you realize were perfect. A hundred million things had to happen, to all come together at the same time, for such moments to come into existence -- so many things that it beggars imagination to think that they could possibly have happened by random chance. This was one of them.

And from the perspective of those in need, that extra quarter of a million bucks your material person spent on the prestige addition for his house looks like an awful lot of lifesaving food and medicine that could have existed if the jerk with the big house in the suburbs hadn't blown it all to artificially inflate his sociogeographic penis.

Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean there isn't an invisible demon about to eat your face. Harry Dresden

Legionares are not afraid of dinner," Max growled, giving the taurg a dire glare. "Dinner is afraid of legionares.

You know, it wouldn't kill you to be a little more polite." "Why take chances," I muttered

Only the young think being called old is an insult," I said, still smiling. "I am what I am, regardless of what anyone calls it. No one can change it, regardless of what anyone calls it. And it mostly means that nothing has managed to kill me yet.

Who," said the man, his accent thick and British, "are you?" "The Great Pumpkin," I responded. "I've risen from the pumpkin patch a bit early because Butters is just that nifty. And you are?

You know, sometimes I think Someone up there really hates me.

Because . . . fear is a terrible, insidious thing, Waldo. It taints and stains everything it touches. If you let fear start driving some of your decisions, sooner or later, it will drive them all.

Because your balls are in a vise and I'm the only one who can pull them out," I said. He arched an elegant silver eyebrow. "Okay," I said. "That came out a little more homoerotic than I intended." "Indeed," said the Merlin.

Lean forward a little, my lord, Toot said instantly, and shouted, Hey, Kernal Purpleweed! Come watch the Za Winter Lord Knight's back! I fought not to smile. No, that's a metaphor, I said. Toot frowned and scratched his head. I don't know what it's for.

You can't win a war sitting behind a wall and hoping the enemy decides to leave.