Quotes from Jim Butcher

You know how to use magic?" I asked. "I prefer calculus.

You think you're funny." "Oh, I know I'm funny. Unappreciated, but funny.

That's the difficult part of being mortal. Of having choice. Much is hidden from you.

Sometimes, being able to use magic was so cool.

When everything goes to hell, the people who stand by you without flinching -- they are your family

She had never gotten it through her gentle head that there was a time for a soft paw and a time for red claws.

A mangled corpse in the middle of a blood-drenched floor. Berserk FBI field agents drawing guns and shooting to kill. A little kung fu, a little John Wayne, and a few casual threats. So far, I thought, my nerves jangling, just one more night on the job.

Bad things are inside everyone. I don't care how gentle or holy or sincere or dedicated you are. There are bad things in there. Lust. Greed. Violence. You don't need a wicked queen to make that happen. That's a part of everyone. Some more, some less, but it's always there.

You're dead, son," Jack said. "Cheer is contraindicated.

I think that men ought to treat women like something other than just shorter, weaker men with breasts. Try and convict me if I'm a bad person for thinking so. I enjoy treating a woman like a lady, opening doors for her, paying for shared meals, giving flowers—all that sort of thing.

Despite my struggles, Mister had been an understanding soul, and I eventually came to realize that I was a part of his little family, and by his gracious consent was allowed to remain in his apartment. Cats. Go figure. I

You don't gain knowledge without a little pain.

bright, flowery plants... were busy committing the olfactory equivalent of aggravated assault.

Loopy as a crochet convention.

Evil food smells amazing—which is either proof that there is a Satan or some equivalent out there, or that the Almighty doesn't actually want everyone to eat organic tofu all the time. I can't decide.

Speak, then, manling," said Mother Winter. "You have a little time left.

No, I really don't," I said. "That's the problem." "But you know that you do not know," Michael said. "Which is wise." I snorted. "If knowing how clueless I am is the measure of wisdom, I am freaking Solomon, Walter Cronkite, and Judge Judy all rolled into one." Sanya held up his hands with his fingers in a square, framing my face like a photographer. "Always thought you look more like a Judy.

I thought about my father. I usually do, when I get that low. He was a good man, a generous man, a hopeless loser.

When you assume, you make an ass out of you and umption.

And besides, she was curious. She had questions. And answering questions was very nearly always more important than caution.

Make things right?" I asked. "Where did you learn that one?" "From Mr. Carpenter," she said. "He says making things right is the first and last thing you should do every day. And that it's what you always try to do.

Uh," I said, feeling somewhat off balance. "What do I think of gay guys?" "Yes." "Boink and let boink, more or less.

I had three days to screw over Nicodemus Archleone and his crew and get this thing out of my head, without getting myself or my friend killed while I did it.

Just like old times," I wheezed. "Yeah, just like old times, Elaine. You backbiting, poisonous, treacherous . . ." And then a thought hit me. Just like old times. ". . . deceitful, wicked, clever girl. If this works I'll buy you a pony.