Quotes from John Wilmot

any experiment of interest in life will be carried out at your own expense

Bawdy in thoughts, precise in words, Ill-natured though a whore, Her belly is a bag of turds, And her cunt a common shore.

Then, if to make your ruin more, You'll peevishly be coy, Die with the scandal of a whore And never know the joy.

I shall never forgive you for teaching me how to love life.

God bless our good and gracious King, Whose promise none relies on; Who never said a foolish thing, Nor ever did a wise one.

Man differs more from man than man from beast

This signior is sound, safe, ready, and dumb As ever was candle, carrot, or thumb; Then away with these nasty devices, and show How you rate the just merits of Signior Dildo.

I wish to be moved. I cannot feel in life. I must have others do it for me in theater.

A kind of losing loadum is their game, Where the worst writer has the greatest fame.

The entire piece has been devised with the French in mind. In France, fornication in the streets with total strangers is *compulsory*.

All monarchs I hate, and the thrones they sit on, From the hector of France to the cully of Britain.

Nothing suits worse with vice than want of sense

How blest was the created state Of man and woman, ere they fell, Compared to our unhappy fate: We need not fear another hell.

Merely for safety, after fame we thirst, For all men would be cowards if they durst.

For Hell and the foul fiend that rules God's everlasting fiery jails (Devised by rogues, dreaded by fools), With his grim, grisly dog that keeps the door, Are senseless stories, idle tales, Dreams, whimseys, and no more.

BOLLOXIMIAN: My pleasures for new cunts I will uphold, And have reserves of kindness for the old. I grant in absence dildo may be used With milk of goats, when once our seed's infused. My prick no more to bald cunt shall resort— Merkins rub off, and often spoil the sport. POCKENELLO: Let merkin, sir, be banished from the court. PENE: 'Tis like a dead hedge when the land is poor.

Whilst wretched Man is still in Arms for fear For fear he armes, and is of Armes afraid.

Before I got married, I had six theories about bringing up children. Now, I have six children and no theories.