Quotes from Lauren Child

NEVER LIE TO SOMEONE WHO IS LIKELY TO SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOU.

That's about it kid. When you're in you're in, when you're out, you're out.

We were given: Two hands to hold. Two legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else. For us to find.

Then I say, "Let's go and brush our teeth." So Lola says, "But Charlie, I can't brush my teeth because somebody is using my tooth." "But who would use your toothbrush?" I ask. Lola says "I think that lion. I saw a lion with my toothbrush and now he's brushing his teeth with it." "But it isn't this your toothbrush Lola?" "Oh," says Lola, "he must be using yours.

I have little sister Lola, she is small and very funny.

Excuse me while I yawn.

Everyone always thinks they're the good guys,' said Ruby. 'Yes they do,' said LB. 'But happily for us, we are.' 'Well you might know that but how do I?

Look we didn't break in, we conned our way in.' - Ruby 'Oh that makes it so much better.' - Hitch

I say 'Mom, how come you don't change into an evening gown for dinner?' She says 'I do, it's called a bath robe. [...]

Cake is one of life's great wonders, and who would deny wonder to a child?

If something is not right or real, don't lose your self.

And they have a display of bananas, which are not bananas but called plantains and are more like a potato pretending to be a banana.

She knows that it's not my fault if I don't know how many Zs there are in LOSER.

It's true,' said Freddie Humbert, 'kids nowadays have got no ability to listen to simple instructions.' 'Here you go, Dad,' said Quent, returning with a tray of drinks. 'Two martinis, one with extra olives, one with no olives, one mineral water, ice and a twist of lime and a jade juice, no fruit.

Rube, this is me you're talking to, Clancy Crew, remember? Your best buddy? And I hate to break it to you this way but your grandmother on your mother's side, she isn't sick - she's dead!

YOU CAN MISS A LOT IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE {RULE 52}.

RULE 9: THERE IS ALWAYS A CHANCE THAT SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE IS WATCHING YOU.

RULE 43: IF YOU'VE GOT THE ADVANTAGE – MAKE SURE YOU KEEP IT.

RULE 3: PEOPLE SO OFTEN DON'T SEE WHAT IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEIR EYES.

This was RULE 32: TELL ONE LIE AND GET READY TO TELL A WHOLE LOT MORE.

RULE 33: MORE OFTEN THAN NOT THERE IS A VERY ORDINARY EXPLANATION FOR THE 'EXTRAORDINARY' HAPPENING.

Anything I need to know?' said Ruby. 'Uh huh, RULE 1: KEEP IT ZIPPED.

RULE 79: WHAT TO DO IF YOU MEET A BEAR – WISH YOU HADN'T!

You can be completely sure what might happen next.