Quotes from Heather McDonald

God did not put you on this earth simplest to be any person's mom.

I remember I was in music class, I was a senior in high school, and my music teacher was like, "You should be a stand-up comic, you could imitate anyone.

Lobster is not going to be as tasty with ice tea unless that ice tea is from Long Island.

The only person who is going to buy that monstrosity with all it's marble and pillars is a Persian. Why did they add all those little rooms that lead to nowhere? It's just a total abortion.

My dad always said to go for my hobby and used to commend me for my excellent judgement so i try to do the similar for my children.

I thought that unless people know me, they wouldn't find me funny.