Quotes from Anonymous

I am an atheist, thank God!

Every great advance in natural knowledge has involved die absolute rejection of authority.

A bachelor is one who enjoys the chase but does not eat the game.

A bachelor is a souvenir of some woman who found a better one at the last minute.

A banker is a man who lends you an umbrella when the weather is fair, and takes it away from you when it rains.

Born on Monday, fair in the face; Born on Tuesday, full of God's grace; Born on Wednesday, sour and sad; Born on Thursday, merry and glad; Born on Friday, worthily given;

When Julia Child was asked to what she credited her longevity, she replied, "Red meat and gin."

Remember when we used to laugh at old people when we were young? Do you recall what was so funny?

I wouldn't say someone is old just because his social security is in Roman numerals or because Mozart played at his senior prom.

If you think a lot of the comments made tonight are not funny, but are immature and tasteless, that's only because the sense of humor is the first thing to go.

I was going to take you out to lunch for your birthday . . . but you already are.

God bless me and my son John, Me and my wife, him and his wife, Us four, and no more.

Combine common sense and the Golden Rule, and you will have very little bad luck.

Boredom is a sickness of the soul.

Boredom, like necessity, is very often the mother of invention.

Old houses mended

Never build after you are five and forty; have five years' income in hand before you lay a brick; and always calculate the expense at double the estimate.

Who buys has need of two eyes But one's enough to sell the stuff.

A fair price for oil is whatever you can get plus ten to twenty per cent.

What costs nothing is worth nothing.

Canada is so square even the female impersonators are women.

If a player continues transgressing the rules, his side shall lose him.

Live together like brothers and do business like strangers.

If a cluttered desk is an indication of a cluttered mind, what is indicated by an empty desk?