Quotes from Miles Kington

Never criticize Americans. They have the best taste that money can buy.

So far as good writing goes, the use of the exclamation mark is a sign of failure. It is the literary equivalent of a man holding up a card reading LAUGHTER to a studio audience.

The ability of dandelions to tell the time is somewhat exaggerated, owing to the fact that there is always one seed that refuses to be blown off; the time usually turns out to be 37 o'clock.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Astronomers, like burglars and jazz musicians, operate best at night.

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.