Quotes from Franklin P. Adams

We have nothing in our history or position to invite aggression we have everything to beckon us to the cultivation of relations of peace and amity with all nations.

Count the day won when, turning on its axis, This earth imposes no additional taxes.

The best you get is an even break.

Ruthlessly pricking our gonfalon bubble,Making a Giant hit into a double,Words that are weighty with nothing but trouble:"Tinker to Evers to Chance."

The trouble with this country is that there are too many politicians who believe, with a conviction based on experience, that you can fool all of the people all of the time.

Prohibition is an awful flop. We like it. It can't stop what it's meant to stop. We like it. It's left a trail of graft and slime, It don't prohibit worth a dime, It's filled our land with vice and crime. Nevertheless, we're for it.

The best part of the fiction in many novels is the notice that the characters are purely imaginary.

There are plenty of good five-cent cigars in the country. The trouble is they cost a quarter. What this country really needs is a good five-cent nickel.

When a man you like switches from what he said a year ago, or 4 years ago, he is a broad-minded person who has courage enough to change his mind with changing conditions. When a man you don't like does it, he is a liar who has broken his promises.

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.

Elections are won by men and women chiefly because most people vote against somebody rather than for somebody.

Seeing ourselves as others see us would probably confirm our worst suspicions about them.

Nothing is more responsible for the good old days than a bad memory.

I find that a great part of the information I have acquired by looking up something and finding something else on the way

Nobody can write such ironic things unless he has a deep sense of injustice-injustice to those members of the race who are victims of the stupid, the pretentious and the hypocritical.

Having imagination, it takes you an hour to write a paragraph that, if you were unimaginative, would take you only a minute. Or you might not write the paragraph at all.

The best part of the fiction in many novels is the notice that the characters are imaginary.

Health is the thing that makes you feel like that now is the best time of the year.

There must be a day or two in a man's life when he is the precise age for something important.

Then here's to the City of Boston, The town of the cries and the groans, Where the Cabots can't see the Kabotschniks, And the Lowells won't speak to the Cohns.

While the work or play is on ... don't constantly feel you ought to be doing the other.

One man's pointlessness is another's barbed satire.

"Count that day won," he sings, "when, turning on its axis, this earth imposes no additional taxes."

While the work or play is on, it is a lot of fun if while you are doing one you don't constantly feel that you ought to be doing the other.