Quotes from Louise Rennison

I had to rush back into my bedroom because Mum suddenly came out of the room to the kitchen and shouted up to me: "Georgia, I know you are at the top of the stairs. Come down – you have a visitor and your father wants to speak to you." My father? Wants to speak to me? I have a visitor? It's like Blithering Heights. If Masimo is dressed in tight breeches and wearing a cravat I will truly go mad.

down quickly. I hope he didn't see me because I had an

In the end they worked out that Angus must have sneaked into Naomi's love parlor before his trouser snake addendums were, you know…adjusted. Super-Cat!!! He is without doubt the 007 of the cat world.

Our New Year "Let's go down the disco" experience, with the aid of Charlie Horse and Teddy as partners, was actually quite good fun on the funosity scale.

What do lesbians do, anyway?

Perhaps I am dead. I wonder how you would know? If you died in your sleep and woke up dead, who would let you know?

Bob has made fire torches to light people's way through the woods to the bonfire. Jo said, "I helped him make them, so I think if we call the fire brigade nice and early, perhaps about five forty-five, there's a good chance that some of the forest can be saved.

what do you do with Sex Gods? Besides snog and worship them, I mean.

I said with great dignosity, "Father, I am afraid I can't discuss my private life with you as I have a date with Lord of the Flies.

Jackie wears even more makeup than those scary circus people. You know, when you go to the circus and you accidentally see a trapeze artist close-up and they are orange.

Campingfahrt means not, as you might imagine, an unfortunate incident with Libby in a tent…. It means "camping trip." I think I have a natural talent for languages.

What in the name of Buddha's bra is he going on about now?

As we passed a bloke playing a saxophone underneath one of the arches, he put down the sax and started doing a juggling thing with his hands. It was a bit peculiar, though, because, as I said to Jas, "He hasn't got any balls.

As I have said with huge wisdomosity many times, boys the world over are a bloody mystery.

I could have stayed holding on to Masimo and riding round forever, round and round, like that bloke on that doomed phantom boat, The Flying Dutchman. Of course there are differences—he was not on a scooter, and I don't have a beard and I am not Dutch.

Libby carried on singing and wiggling around in Mum's arm, and then Mum noticed me. Being in my bedroom. "What are you up to, Georgia? Why are you in here?" I said, "Not that anyone notices, but this is actually my room. You know, for me to be in. I was in bed, as it happens." Mum said as she went out, "Oh you must be sooo tired, all that lip gloss and mascara to carry round all day." Vair vair amusing. Not.