Quotes from W. S. Gilbert

Now landsmen all, whoever you may be, If you want to rise to the top of the tree. If your soul isn't fettered to an office stool, Be careful to be guided by this golden rule - Stick close to your desks and never go to to sea, And you may all be Rulers of the Queen's Navee.

You've no idea what a poor opinion I have of myself - and how little I deserve it.

I am not fond of uttering platitudes In stained-glass attitudes.

When every blessed thing you have is made of silver, or of gold, you long for simple pewter.

I always voted at my party's call, And I never thought of thinking for myself at all.

You must stir it and stump it, and blow your own trumpet, or trust me, you haven't a chance.

My object all sublime I shall achieve in time - To let the punishment fit the crime.

And so do his sisters and his cousins and his aunts! His sisters and his cousins Whom he reckons up by dozens, And his aunts!

If you wish in this world to advance Your merits you're bound to enhance; You must stir it and stump it, And blow your own trumpet, Or, trust me, you haven't a chance.

Perhaps if you address the lady Most politely, most politely, Flatter and impress the lady Most politely, most politely, Humbly beg and humbly sue, She may deign to look on you.

When everyone is somebody, then no one's anybody.

If you're anxious to shine in the high aesthetic line as a man of culture rare, you must get up all the germs of the transcendental terms, and plant them everywhere.

Darwinian man, though well-behaved, at best is only a monkey shaved.

I love my fellow creatures - I do all the good I can - yet everybody says I'm such a disagreeable man!

He did nothing in particular, and did it very well.

Oh, wouldn't the world seem dull and flat with nothing whatever to grumble at?

Man is nature's sole mistake.

My object all sublime I shall achieve in time...

Things are seldom what they seem, skim milk masquerades as cream.

See how the Fates their gifts allot. For A is happy - B is not. Yet B is worthy I dare say Of more prosperity than A.

It isn't so much what's on the table that matters, as what's on the chairs.