Quotes from Kevin Hearne

I yawned and stretched luxuriously in the morning. I make noises when I stretch because it feels ten times better than stretching silently.

Well o' course she's feelin' dandy! She's the mother o' God for the love o' Pete!

I'm not a proper anything. Majoring in philosophy kind of turns positive assertions into maybes.

Ye know what me Sean used to say, God rest his soul? He said, 'A friend will help ye move, Katie, but a really good friend will help ye move a body.

Gods can screw anything and anybody. For reference, see history. Atticus O'Sullivan

I hoped you would consider it seriously instead of laughing at it.' 'Mr. Chamkanni said much the same thing in bed the first night home from the hospital

She thinks petting me is an honor. This is an unexpected position to take for a goddess of slaughter, but I applaud her defiance of convention.

Poison?" she (Granuaile)said,"I hope it isn't iocane powder.

He was a god of rock. He nearly solved all the world's problems with nothing but power chords and anguished cries into a microphone.

Atticus "What's this religion going to be called?" Oberon "Poochism" A:"and the name of this holy writ I will be typing for you?" O:"The dead flea scrolls: A Sirius Prophecy.

You will respect my authori-tah!' Oberon said, in a passable imitation of Eric Cartman. I reminded him that I needed to concentrate. Sometimes dogs forget; they just get too excited.

I tend to vacillate between belief systems. Right now I'm kind of checking out the whole buffet, you know, and maybe in a little while I'll decide on what I want to put on my plate and chow down on.

As any war veteran will tell you, there is a vast difference between preparing for battle and actually facing battle for the first time.

Wisdom eludes me yet, but foolishness I captured long ago and to this day it is my constant companion, though many people consider me wise.

The tendency of modern American women to exclaim 'Hiiiiiiiiiiii!' in soprano octaves and hug each other upon sight can be disconcerting to those unfamiliar with it.