Quotes from Steve Kluger

It would have served me right if I'd had a cerebral aneurysm on the spot. Instead, I forgot all about my foot--until we shoved the flat onto the stage. I think we broke my ankle. This is bullshit. I have finals to worry about.

Like there's actually a need for Greenland. You can get ice at 7-Eleven.

Now, the scene you just saw, I began, pointing to the stage. Was about you and T.C., he concluded, nodding like he already knew. What?? She pretends she doesn't like him and he pretends he doesn't care. I had no handy rebuttal to that particular allegation and wouldn't have been able to come up with one if I'd been given a week's notice. So I countered with the only safe reply I could think of. The toilet is not working properly.

. . . it's not just the people we love, but the people we let love us back who show us how high we can really soar.

Falling hard for somebody makes you do things you never thought you'd do before. Like pulling off an A in History or finally facing the truth about yourself

Ale Perez What happened to your right hand? TCKeller hucky made me finger-spell supercalifragilisticexpialidocious untill he got it right. it took an hour and a half. i still can't hold a fork. what's the favour.

Here's to us. Who's like us? Damn few.

T.C.: Um, actually you just said "I live in a parking lot." You didn't mean to do that. Lori: You've never seen traffic on Concord Street at eight o'clock in the morning.

When T falls in love, he does it with the whole world at once.

Ale Perez I can't imagine why anyone would choose to be male. It's just so unsubtle. Women only have to deal with breasts, which are what they are. They don't suddenly stand up whenever they feel like it and begin pointing at something they want. Augie Hwong You SO don't know what you're missing.

Your head and your heart are two different things. One of them can get you into trouble and the other can't. It's okay to be scared when you can't tell them apart. That happened to me every day of my life. But nobody saw it except you.

What do you mean Taurus? he frowns. I'm not a Taurus. You were born on the cusp, I remind him. Jason merely shrugs. Shows what you know, Scotty, I was born in Ohio. I can take him anywhere but out.

PROFESSOR:What do we call a patient with paranoid schizophrenic tendencies who still manages to assimilate himself into the social structure? CRAIG: A Republican.

After you've spent four years kissing somebody's perineum, the subtext talks louder than words.

What I don't understand is how come I got seven thousand chromosomes that make me smart and not a single one that makes me cool.

If I weren't so depressed, I'd kill myself.

Everyone has something worth it inside of them even if it doesn't show. Sometimes you have to look a little harder than other times but don't give up. Otherwise all your going to see is a sorehead who plays 3d base.

When you get famous or rich and maybe you think that you wish I was there to see it, remember that one way or the other I am.

The last thing you will always remember is the most important one. A long time ago I told you I did not know for a fact yet that you were somebody special. Now I do. I love you Bucko.

Would you care to comment on the complexities of the relationship between Heathcliff and Catherine?" Yeah, about as much as I'd care to have a Fleet enema, sir.

Scientists didn't need to figure this out—Travis did it for them.

And as long as I'm being brutally candid, I only wound up teaching American History because I followed a cute ass into the country-and-western section at Barnes & Noble

My mother claims she didn't raise her son to settle down with a construction foreman who operates his own hardware chain. Even with the M.B.A. from Harvard. But it's not really the blue-collar thing that crawled up her ass. She and Clayton haven't agreed on anything since she found out he makes more money than she does.

Hey Trav, When I first got in this course, I didn't want a pervert teaching me. Now I don't mind. —Tony