Quotes from Khushwant Singh

It is the extramarital love affair that destroys a marriage, not extramarital sex with a prostitute.

Since they abused and beat him without anger or hate, they were not human beings with names. They were only denominations one tried to get the better of. If one failed, it was just bad luck.

I said that before leaving Pakistan I would make an offering of an Urdu couplet to the Minister, which might come in handy when he next faced the thekedars of Islam. It ran: Mullah, gar asar hai dua mein To Masjid hila kay dikha Gar nahin, to do ghoont pee Aur Masjid ko hilta deykh (Mullah, if there is power in your prayer Let me see you shake the mosque! If not, take a couple of swigs of liquor And see the mosque shake on its own.)

Telling a lie is a fault for a little boy, an art for a lover, an accomplishment for a bachelor and a matter of survival for a married man.

To read all these stories and more, you will have to wait till I am dead and a suicidal publisher decides to print them.

I have never been a very tactful person. I have never been discreet either. I am a voyeur and a gossip. I am also very opinionated. These are good qualities to have if your aim is to be a writer who is read. You could add to that the extremely useful habit of keeping a diary. I

I have also suffered famous bores, and sometimes been rewarded with behaviour so ridiculous that it becomes compelling.

would arrive armed with a bottle of Scotch; then Ali Sardar would send for soda and biryani from a restaurant

sought out his company because he was one of the most erudite Indian writers I had met. He also had a phenomenal memory.

Know him only as a man of God who feels the suffering of others. And

Champagne flowed like the Jamuna in flood.

Balwant Gargi was like a cactus—he hurt anyone he touched. After

Dhoondta phirta hoon main, ai Iqbal, apney aap ko aap hee goya musaafir, aap hee manzil hoon main. (O Iqbal, I go about everywhere looking for myself As if I was the wayfarer as well as the destination.)

We explain the unattractive by pretending it is esoteric.

In your hearts His name be graven, Sorrows from your soul erase And make your hearts a joyous haven. The Guru's word has the sage's wisdom, The Guru's word is full of learning, For though it be the Guru's word God Himself speaks therein.

CHALLANED! Santa was caught for speeding and was produced before the magistrate. Magistrate: 'What'll you take? 30 days or Rs 3,000?' Santa: 'I think I'll take the money.' Contributed by Vijay Sharma, Dharmashala

Don Marquis: 'Mayhem, death and arson have followed many a thoughtless kiss not sanctioned by a person.' There

In a country which had accepted caste distinctions for many centuries, inequality had become an inborn mental concept. In a state of chaos, self-preservation is the supreme duty.

If thou must make a gold coin true Let thy mint these rules pursue. In the forge of continence Let the goldsmith be a man of patience, His tools be made of knowledge, His anvil made of reason;

In solitude is bliss.

No sooner would a mushaira start than the audience would clamour for 'Parwana' (moth) the pseudonym which he used. (I always referred to him as patanga which is the pejorative for a moth).

O Sage ! the stomach is the prison house of wind, The sagacious contain it not in captivity, If wind torment thy belly, release it, fart; For the wind in the stomach is like a stone on the heart.

When bullets fly about, what is the point of sticking out your head and getting shot? The bullet is neutral. It hits the good and the bad, the important and insignificant, without distinction.

Morality, Meet Singhji, is a matter of money. Poor people cannot afford to have morals. So they have religion. Our first problem is to get people more food, clothing, comfort.