Quotes from Jackie Gleason

The best part of you ran down your mother's legs.

I have a 'Play The Melody' philosophy. It means don't over arrange, don't make life difficult. Just play the melody-and do it the simplest way possible.

Sometimes the feeling that life is great just swells up inside you and fills you with joy.

Does God have a sense of humor? He must have if He created us.

How sweet it is!

I only made $200 a week and I had to buy my own bullets.

Our dreams are firsthand creations, rather than residues of waking life. We have the capacity for infinite creativity; at least while dreaming, we partake of the power of the Spirit, the infinite Godhead that creates the cosmos.

If you have it and you know you have it, then you have it. If you have it and don't know you have it, you don't have it. If you don't have it but you think you have it, then you have it.

Most wives think of their husbands as bumbling braggarts with whom they happen to be in love.

A man must defend his home, his wife, his children, and his martini.

Golf and women are a lot alike. You know you are not going to wind up with anything but grief, but you can't resist the impulse.

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day, you're off it.

Most wives think of their husbands as bumbling braggarts with whom they happen to be in love.

How sweet it is!

Our dreams are firsthand creations, rather than residues of waking life. We have the capacity for infinite creativity at least while dreaming, we partake of the power of the Spirit, the infinite Godhead that creates the cosmos.

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.

Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable.