Quotes from Dudley Moore

I can hear the music all around me.

In the course of an average lifetime anyone growing up in a house with such a clock will hear the tune over a million times.

I'm always looking for meaningful one-night stands.

I am always looking for meaningful one night stands.

I certainly did feel inferior. Because of class. Because of strength. Because of height. I guess if I'd been able to hit somebody in the nose, I wouldn't have been a comic.

Not everyone who drinks is a poet. Some of us drink because we're not poets.

I'm always looking for meaningful one-night stands

The best car safety device is a rear view mirror with a cop in it.

I understand that one person in 100,000 suffers from the disease and I am also aware that there are 100,000 members of my union, the Screen Actors Guild, who are working every day. I think, therefore, it is in some way considerate of me that I have taken on the disease for myself, thus protecting the remaining 99,999 members from this fate.

Aren't waiters wonderful? You ask them for things and they bring them... It's the same principle as Santa Claus.

I certainly did feel inferior. Because of class. Because of strength. Because of height. I guess if I'd been able to hit somebody in the nose, I wouldn't have been a comic.

I am trapped in this body, and there is nothing I can do about it.

Masturbation is always very safe. You not only control the person you're with, but you can leave when you want to.

I am always looking for meaningful one-night stands.

Jaguar — For men who'd like hand-jobs from beautiful women they hardly know.

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.

I haven't had that many women - only as many as I could lay my hands on.