Quotes from George Carlin, Brain Droppings

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.

I went through the usual stages: imp, rascal, scalawag, whippersnapper. And, of course, after that it's just a small step to full-blown sociopath.

I was a hip kid. When I saw Bambi it was the midnight show.

I'm happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.

I can remember staring at the orphanage and feeling envy.

You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show you a guy who's not causing any trouble.

Once you leave out all the bullshit they teach you in school, life gets really simple.