Quotes from Judith Orloff

It's a gift to let other people be themselves. Let them face their own difficulties.

Empaths tend to be light sleepers. A partner's snoring or thrashing around can easily disturb us. We may also need more sleep than our mates, and we get thrown off when our dream cycle is interrupted too.

Not all dreams are psychic, and yet I believe that each one carries a personalized message that we need to hear. In one of Leonardo da Vinci's notebooks, he asks, "Why does an eye see a thing more clearly in dreams than the imagination does while awake?

Set clear limits with energy vampires and toxic people. Remember that "no" is a complete sentence. You don't have to keep explaining yourself. I am adamant about avoiding draining people, particularly when I'm overloaded.

A skill that sensitive people must learn is how to deal with sensory overload when too much is coming at them too quickly. This can leave them exhausted, anxious, depressed, or sick. Like

The ancient Greeks had two concepts of time — Chronos and Kairos — which can help you wisely channel your sensitivities.

balance your time-bound and timeless selves so you're not cornered by the clock.

How you react emotionally is a choice in any situation.

I don't care how intelligent or attractive someone is, if he zaps your energy, he isn't for you. True chemistry is more than intellectual compatibility. Beyond surfaces, you must be intuitively at ease.

An (emotional) vampire goes in for the kill by stirring up your emotions. Pushing your buttons throws you off center, which renders you easier to drain. Of all the emotional types, empaths are often the most devestated.

Look at your life as your main career and your divine classroom.

The art of communicating is to speak with a non judging sensitivity and mean it rather than impulsively verbalizing whatever feelings arise; there's no better way to make a point.

I'm intrigued with the idea of surrender not as defeat or loss, as it is frequently thought of, but as a positive, intuitive way of living, a power that grows as you develop trust in the moment as well as in change and the unknown. Contrary to common stereotypes that equate surrender with weakness, I'm presenting it as a way to gain mastery of your life, not give up power.

Words ride on the energy of tone, its warmth or coldness; think of tone as the music of how words are expressed. You want this music to be soulful, whether you're giving sweet talk or tough love.

When encountering emotional vampires, see what you can learn. It's your choice. You can simply feel tortured, resentful, impotent. Or, as I try to do, ask yourself, "How can this interaction help me grow?

Sometimes violence cannot be stopped no matter what we do. But the more peaceful we are, the better chance we have of bringing out the peace in those around us.

AS A CHILD I FELT MYSELF TO BE ALONE, AND I AM STILL, BECAUSE I KNOW THINGS AND MUST HINT AT THINGS THAT OTHERS APPARENTLY KNOW NOTHING OF, AND FOR THE MOST PART DO NOT WANT TO KNOW. LONELINESS DOES NOT COME FROM HAVING NO PEOPLE ABOUT ONE, BUT FROM BEING UNABLE TO COMMUNICATE THE THINGS THAT SEEM IMPORTANT TO ONESELF, OR FROM HOLDING CERTAIN VIEWS WHICH OTHERS FIND INADMISSIBLE. Dr. Carl Jung As

The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion which stands at the cradle of true art and true science.

Remember to show yourself compassion

Friends can be the best co-conspirators in charting the unknown.

Use gemstones. Carry a crystal to help ground you and ward off an emotional hangover. Try black tourmaline, amethyst, or black obsidian. Shamans say that if you carry or wear black, you will be more protected.

Always, emotional freedom involves choosing where you put your attention.

The launching pad for emotional freedom is always yourself.

I know how tempting it is to believe that something outside—a great job, meeting Mr. or Ms. Right, winning the lottery— can make you feel okay and mollify envy. For a while these may seem to work, but an outer fix alone, no matter how gratifying, can't sustain self-esteem.