Quotes from Jack Paar

I have never seen a bad television program, because I refuse to. God gave me a mind, and a wrist that turns things off.

Disneyland is such a big thing to Californians, I discovered that when you cross the border you have to raise your right hand and take an oath that you believe in Walt Disney.

The only non-believer I encountered was Oscar Levant who wouldn't visit Disneyland because he said he had his own hallucinations.

Randy and I were goggle-eyed as we gazed over the wonders of what Walt Disney had wrought. It was a magnificent demonstration of what God could do if He had more imagination.

Doing the show was like painting the George Washington Bridge. As soon as you finished one end, you started right in on the other.

Statistics show that many people watch our show from the bedroom. and people you ask into your bedroom have to be more interesting than those you ask into your living room. I kid you not!

Looking back, my life so far seems like one long obstacle race, with me as its chief obstacle.

As I look back on my life, I see it as one long obstacle course with myself as the main obstacle.

Looking back, my life seems like one long obstacle race, with me as the chief obstacle.

Poor people have more fun than rich people, they say; and I notice it's the rich people who keep saying it.

In an interview Errol Flynn said that his hobby was acting but he doesn't have time for it.

Immigration is the sincerest form of flattery.

One gets the impression that this is how Ernest Hemingway would have written had he gone to Vassar.

I have never seen a bad television program, because I refuse to. God gave me a mind, and a wrist that turns things off.

Immigration is the sincerest form of flattery.

Hollywood, we decided, was a nice place to die, but we wouldn't want to live there.

Son of Lady Chatterley's Lover had obvious commercial advantages (as a title for this book), but it impugned the marital status of my parents, something that enough critics were already doing.