Quotes from Steve Aylett

Biting enemies seems to be acceptable in a surprisingly narrow range of circumstances, or so a ninja shouted at me once

a story is ready when it falls from your face

Crime is one of the many methods justice may select.

Nothing like a spider in the mouth to get you thinking.

A sniper is like a genius - it's not enough to be one, you have to be one at something.

Fractal litigation, whereby the flapping of a butterfly's wings on one side of the world resulted in a massive compensation claim on the other.

The best way of getting into something is to think of it as mischief.

What's that thing when someone gets a knock on the head and suddenly can't remember anything about himself?' Death,' said the barman, his face a mask of disapproval.

Most books are so well written they barely have any effect on the reader's senses

A key and a strangler - this is all a simple tale requires.

I knew books could see people around them, they ground their tiny teeth, tried to rattle like windows, stories to tell.

We have truth in order not to die of art.

One golfer a year is hit by lightning. This may be the only evidence we have of god's existence.

The great thing about being ignored is that you can speak the truth with impunity.

From space this Earth is incandescent with abominations - the gods write their signature in our entrails

Since childhood I'd been suspected of imagination

Oppression evolves, like everything else.

The clerk tripped on the carpet, hit a window and went through, carrying with him a vase which had been on the sill. His skull broke like the vase and the vase broke like his skull, and both burst forth water mainly, and from the vase some flowers. If I could choose a death I'd make it something like that, except I'd add a good woman and some lard.

Ideas are self-replenishing, like snot

On July 13, 1994, Lint had a near-death experience, followed immediately by death.

Parker always felt things in his bones because, he said, it saved space

The most amusing thing about a pantomime horse is the necessity of having to shoot it twice.

Painkillers are the drugs of the future

The trustiest rule of social disintegration: bars burn last.