Quotes from Ellen Wittlinger

well, it sounds strange, but when i think of God, i think of a soft whirring noise - like a spinning ball of energy - something i can tap into when i need it.

...and she said we all had to find God inside ourselves, in the things we loved most.

But you can only lie about who you are for so long without going crazy.

I watched her walk away, first thinking: good riddance – who needs this abuse? And then after a minute thinking: she never really understood me anyway. Which rapidly changed to: I never understood her at all. And before long I was watching her small back disappear and thinking: there goes the only person who ever gave a damn about me.

It's a lie, you know, to pretend that nothing is important to you. It's hiding. Believe me, I know because I hid for a long time. But now I won't do it anymore. The truth is bioluminescent. I don't lie, and I don't waste time on people who do.

you give everyone the benefit of the doubt. they don't always deserve it.

I trust the red sun setting, the leafless November trees. On Monday morning I look foward fearlessly to Friday's eve. But humans are not as reliable as nature, as trees. I wonder if you'll come back; I trust only that you leave.

when there's an elephant in the room, you can't pretend it isn't there and just discuss the ants.

When people say they love you, you just have to decide to believe them, because you'll never know for sure.

i was in love with the sound of the slamming door, it sounded the way i felt, like damn you to hell! and i hate what you're doing to me! and Life sucks.

well, it sounds strange, but when i think of God, i think of a soft whirring noise - like a spinning ball of energy - something i can tap into when i need it.

i want to look at all my tears, she said. which made me shiver

and she said we all had to find God inside ourselves, in the things we loved most.

sometimes people think they're above the laws the rest of us live by. they're blind to their own imperfections.

the whole idea of boys being people you would actually choose to spend time with was pretty much totally incomprehensible to me. i could never think of anything to say to them, and they seemed equally dumbstruck by my presence.

It seems obvious to me that the more queer books there are in the wolrd, the more queer kids we reach with the message that they are not alone, the fewer LGBT kids become one of these grim statistics.

what's normal, she said. adults are all just weird in different ways.

When I decided I was a boy, I realized that if I wanted to pass, I'd have to learn to walk differently, talk differently, dress differently, basically act differently than I did as a girl. But why did we need to act at all?

well, you just have to make sure that you're his escape

i believe in anything it would be nature - trees, clouds, rain - the life cycles that begin and end, season after season. that makes sense to me - nature as God.

bunny was a good soul and a strong believer but she would have been that way whether she went to church or not, wouldn't she. church doesn't make you a better person.

My name is Mike. Instantly forgettable. Unlike Heather. What a breathless little name that is.

But I knew the first question Mom asked Gail was, Is it a boy or a girl? Because, for some reason, that is the first thing everybody wants to know the minute you're born. Should we label it with pink or blue? Wouldn't want anyone to mistake the gender of an infant! What is that so important?

Did the women feel like I was deserting them by deciding to live as the other gender? Maybe for Dad and Charlie, it didn't seem strange to want to be male, since that's what they were. But Mom and Laura—and, of course, Eve—acted like I was betraying them somehow. Would I have to give them up if I wasn't a girl anymore? I hoped not. I hoped that changing my gender wouldn't mean losing my entire past.