Quotes from David Richo

When faced with one of life's givens, we might ask: "Why did such a terrible thing happen to a good person like me? I deserve better." The mindful version of that question is: "Yes this happened. Now what?" We will notice we are happier when we accept what we do not like about life as a given of life. Our mindful yes is an entry into this sheltering paradox. When

For all that has been: Thanks! For all that shall be: Yes! —DAG HAMMARSKJÖLD, Markings

The unconditional yes, with its implicit trust of the givens' usefulness to our growth, cuts through that fear-based view of life. Saying yes to reality—to the things we cannot change—is like choosing to turn around and sit in the saddle in the direction the horse is going.

What if all that happens to us is exactly what schools us in how to evolve in love in the course of life? That is the very definition of synchronicity, meaningful coincidence: Just the right events and people come along to allow us to articulate the love we are inside. All of them are emissaries of some nuance of light we need to let the full colors of our love appear in all their incandescence.

Attention from others leads to self-respect. Acceptance engenders a sense of being inherently a good person. Appreciation generates a sense of self-worth. Affection makes us feel lovable. Allowing gives us the freedom to pursue our own deepest needs, values, and wishes.

Just a little progress is freedom from fear.—Bhagavad Gita

Mindfulness is an ancient meditation mode in which we let go of our fears, our attachments to control and being right, our expectations and entitlements, and our judgments of others.

engaging with our grief is a form of self-nurturance and liberation from neediness. Paradoxically, to enter our wounded feelings fully places us on the path to healthy intimacy.

We do not let go of control on our own. Usually, something has to happen that shows us incontrovertibly that we are not in control. From this condition of bankrupt ego, we finally let go. Great losses are thus necessary losses like the discarded sandbags that lighten a balloon so it can ascend higher.

In the hero stories, the call to go on a journey takes the form of a loss, a depression, an error, a wound, an unexplainable longing, or a sense of a mission. When any of these happens to us, we are being summoned to make a transition.

We cannot attune if we assume certain feelings are right and others wrong. To attune to someone, we need neutrality toward all feelings, moods, and inner states and the fearless openness of mindfulness.

A lack of love means not receiving the five A's of adult love: attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, and allowing us to be ourselves.

When we look deeply into our fears, we see that, at base, every fear is a fear of not having control

We go mad to become sane sometimes.

Wise adults begin relationships not with the romance phase but with an investigation phase. We check out the other, looking to see if he or she is trustworthy, has the ability to give the five A's, and possesses the qualities that are important to us. Only when we are secure in the knowledge that the other is trustworthy do we open ourselves to letting love happen.

We feel loved when we receive attention, acceptance, appreciation, and affection, and when we are allowed the freedom to live in accord with our own deepest needs and wishes.

The plan of nature is a model for us who are learning the word yes. Nature allows changes and flows with them. Nature is patient and nonretaliatory. Nature is fully respectful of interconnections. Nature honors the light and the dark. Ecologist

The ability to hear someone is really about trust, not simply about communication. A trust issue always lurks beneath a communication difficulty.

Real love includes romantic fascination but then moves on through conflict to commitment. It is not always pleasurable, but it is reliably enduring. Infatuation craves exhilaration as well as safety and security; love provides them through sustained trustworthiness.

To will is truly to want something, to choose both the goal and the means to goal. This means accepting the work and the risks involved in seeing something through. To wish, on the other hand, is only to be enamored of the goal.

Where there is no love put love and you will find love.

Delusion happens when we see all that is from the viewpoint of the self. Enlightenment happens when we see ourselves from the viewpoint of the things in nature.

As we become more courageous, getting on with life becomes more valuable than the narcotic comforts of the status quo.

Teach us to care and not to care Teach us to sit still Even among these rocks.