Quotes from Stanley Bing

These are tough times," said the COO to each of them. "And tough times call for hard solutions. Thank you for your contribution. Now get the fuck out of here." Actually, he didn't say that precisely. But that's precisely what he meant.

To a real elephant, and not a sheep, wolf, or gnu in elephant's clothing, you are not there. There is no You. There is no Is. There is only the Elephant. Don't you see how silly that

Tech made all things possible, and therefore mandatory. Not to mention the fact that carrying around all this smartphone in your purse or pocket had become such a fantastic drag. Cranial implant was so much easier. Now they could be in touch with the hive 24/7 and have their hands free for whatever. Their cars drove them everywhere, too. Also left them free to, you know, do whatever.

to Alexander the Great, who wept when there were no more worlds to conquer...

The truth is your servant, not your master. What is the truth, anyway? Does any of us really know what's true? And is truth an absolute? Can't things be sort of true? A little bit true? True in a deeper sense? True enough for military work? True for me, not for you? All too true?

Your goal is to reach the point where, no matter what happens in any given day, you just don't give a shit.

Don't you ever turn your back on me when I'm talking. CITIGROUP SENIOR EXECUTIVE JAMIE DIMON TO THE COMPANY'S VICE CHAIRMAN, DERYCK MAUGHAN, AT A BLACK-TIE DINNER. WHEN MAUGHAN TURNED AWAY FROM HIM, DIMON GRABBED HIM BY THE SHOULDERS AND SPUN HIM AROUND, POPPING A BUTTON FROM THE LAPEL OF HIS DINNER JACKET

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. That is the principal difference between a dog and a man. MARK TWAIN

Solve problems, don't create them. A huge number of very dislikable people have this aggravating habit of either creating problems they can then solve to the acclaim of the multitudes, or blowing up the size of issues and then handing them off to others. Try to not do that.

Lying for a good business reason has become so prevalent that they had to invent a new, less censorious word for it. They call it positioning, and people get paid good money to do it, lucky for me.

You get the picture. The marvelous thing about the human ego is that each one is slightly different. Deep inside you, there's an enormously objectionable force yearning to leap forth and spew toxic goo all over the place. Let it flow!

Anyhow, his basic philosophy was encapsulated in his famous statement, "I have an agreement with my people. They can say what they want. I can do what I want.

TRUTH #1: Work is suffering. The ability to boss other people around destroys much of human decency.

TRUTH #2: Desire is the root of suffering. It is the desire to achieve, to live, to make things tolerable and pleasant, and even better, that creates untold pain in the lives of men and women. Want nothing, and you shall not be disappointed.

There are those who treat every human interaction as a military engagement that could escalate into a potential battle leading to a nice, satisfying conflict that's part of a war. There is a name for such people. They're called assholes.

The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man. GEORGE BERNARD SHAW

That is the way of management from time immemorial, in medieval feudal states, communist dictatorships, and capitalist conference rooms alike. It is the way the powerful treat those less so, and it is the human condition.

So this smart, overpaid, sassy dude goes into his first major meeting with our then-CEO, Mark. He spends a fair amount of time shitting on the efforts of the corporation to date, and making a lot of noises about revamping the entire landscape and not with a spade and shovel, either, no, with some very heavy machinery. In the process, he evinces almost no particular knowledge of our company, and also manages to poop on the parades of everyone sitting around the table, including Mark's.

Soldiering, my dear madam, is the coward's art of attacking mercilessly when you are strong, and keeping out of harm's way when you are weak. That is the whole secret of successful fighting. Get your enemy at a disadvantage; and never, on any account, fight him on equal terms. George Bernard Shaw

Your enemy is presenting you with new options and challenges every day. If you respond in a wholly expected way each time, you will become predictable, and a predictable enemy is much easier to defeat than one who treats his adversaries to a surprise on a regular basis.

Either I get Frank's job as president, or I'm going to leave the company. JEFFREY KATZENBERG TO DISNEY CHAIRMAN MICHAEL EISNER LESS THEN THIRTY-SIX HOURS AFTER THE DEATH OF DISNEY NUMBER TWO, FRANK WELLS

When a general gave unwanted advice at a meeting, Saddam ordered him to stand, and shot him six times. —FIRST-PERSON ACCOUNT, SADDAM HUSSEIN WEB HIT

I believe the principles of structural revolution are the same," Lou Gerstner pointed out in the middle of his positive transformation of IBM. "First, it takes personal commitment on the part of the CEO. This is not a job you can delegate. Second, it takes a willingness to confront and expel the people and the organizations that are throwing up roadblocks to the changes you consider critical.

Throughout our time here on earth, we all have a choice. To do things the mediocre way . . . or Machiavelli's way.